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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28226085">Everybody Knows You're High</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dartmouth420/pseuds/dartmouth420'>dartmouth420</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Lesbian AU, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Weed, absolute dumbassery, gamer girl manila, stoner genius raja, weed-induced anxiety and paranoia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:42:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28226085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dartmouth420/pseuds/dartmouth420</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Raja smokes way too much weed and develops horrifying self-awareness. Manila’s there to rescue her but takes none of her bullshit. Maybe, just maybe, they fall in love. </p>
<p>A college lesbian AU friends-to-idiots-to-lovers tale based on the song Everybody Knows by Partner. Loosely inspired by Off Limits by V&amp;albatross but like wayyyy dumber :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sutan Amrull | Raja/Manila Luzon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm having technical difficulties involving my old laptop and hopefully I can get my files (including all my WIPs) back from it in a month or so! working on this for now :) rated higher for later chapters!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>“I found myself all alone in the grocery store, more stoned than I think I’ve ever been before.”</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a wonderful Sunday afternoon and Raja had been doing massive bong rips for the past two hours because why the hell not.</p>
<p>She sat in a sunbeam on her couch in the living room, deeply at peace with the world. Her roommates were out, and Raja was supposed to be working on a paper for her philosophy class that was due this week. But whatever, wasn’t a big part of college about having fun?</p>
<p>Raja glanced over at her Nintendo controller and stared at it for a good minute before reaching for it and selecting Super Smash Bros. After several minutes of staring glassy-eyed at the screen and trying to beat the computer generated competition, Raja blindly reached over for the bag of chips that usually rested in the corner of the couch and found... it was gone.</p>
<p>Raja paused the game and glared at the corner of the couch, suddenly really hungry.</p>
<p>She got up and went to the kitchen, digging around in the cupboards, reasoning she could always pay Delta or Carmen back for chips if they had some... but to no avail. If Raja wanted chips, she’d have to leave the house.</p>
<p>But that wasn’t such a big deal, the grocery store was a block down the street which was part of the reason they’d picked this house in the first place. Raja knew the route like the back of her tattooed left hand.</p>
<p>So, Raja took another big hit off her bong for courage, enjoying the satisfying bubbles in the dank water and subsequent thick smoke that went deep into her lungs.</p>
<p>Then she left the house, lazy in loose shorts and a crop top, yellow-tinted sunglasses to take the glare off the sunny afternoon, and her wallet reliably in her back pocket. What a beautiful day, it almost felt like a movie as she wandered down the street in the golden afternoon light. The clouds were small, fluffy and perfect. It was just like how Raja imagined the 90s.</p>
<p>Glancing up at the big three-pane window in the house a few doors down across the street, Raja wondered if anyone was home. A few other students lived there, including Manila, who was one of her close friends. Raja decided not to stop and kept walking, the need for chips overpowering the desire to stop by and visit Manila.</p>
<p>At the grocery store Raja smiled to herself, took a plastic basket and wandered gently down the brightly lit aisles. Mmm, food. She got to the chips aisle and put a couple of different bags in her basket, letting elderly people and families and other folks pass her as she moved slowly. Then Raja decided she might, in fact, want ice cream too and moseyed over to the dairy section.</p>
<p>But as the cool air of the diary aisle hit her Raja began to experience doubt. She didn’t smell like weed, did she? Her mouth still tasted a little smoky, but surely it wouldn’t be a problem...</p>
<p>... and suddenly Raja saw somebody behind the glass in the big wall of fridges, blending in to the little cartons of whipping cream. Who the hell was that?</p>
<p>Raja peered closer, curious about the weird gremlin that lived in the fridge only to realize, with absolute horror, that it was her own reflection.</p>
<p>Long, greasy black hair, a slack expression, yellow tinted sunglasses through which her bloodshot and lined eyes were clearly visible. A twenty-year-old mess.</p>
<p>Clearly and distinctly, a voice inside Raja’s head said, <i>Everybody knows you’re high.</i></p>
<p>Shit.</p>
<p>Raja looked around slowly, and inched into the corner at the end of the aisle between the shredded cheese and a big granola bar display. Her breath grew shallow as the sudden anxiety swallowed her whole. Oh god, oh no, everybody could tell-</p>
<p>What the fuck was she supposed to do now?</p>
<p>Raja gulped, completely glued to the spot as she watched the other shoppers go by. She needed a rescue mission. She took out her phone, holding on to the basket of chips for dear life.</p>
<p>Raja stared at her phone. Delta and Carmen were both out today and too far away, Shangela was mad at her, Raven was out of the question, who else, who else lived nearby... </p>
<p>Raja hit call.</p>
<p>“Hello?” came Manila’s voice, a little out of breath.</p>
<p>“Manila,” whispered Raja, shrinking further into the corner between the display and the glass fridge, as she realized that <i>everyone in the store</i> knew she was high and could probably hear her conversation, “I need you to come pick me up.”</p>
<p>“Why are you whispering?”</p>
<p>“I’m like... super high,” whispered Raja, anxiety spiking as her too-slow body fought her too-fast mind, “I’m at the grocery store and everybody knows and I’m trapped in the diary aisle and I can’t move.”</p>
<p>“What?” laughed Manila, “Oh my god, how much weed did you smoke?”</p>
<p>“I dunno, I did like... thirteen bong hits,” whispered Raja pathetically, “I needed chips.”</p>
<p>“You are so stupid,” said Manila with affectionate exasperation, “I’m out for a run, I’m just around the corner. I’ll come get you.”</p>
<p>Raja whispered a thank you and hung up and took a deep breath and stared at the floor. The floor was moving a little bit not too badly.  Maybe she could just walk down the dairy aisle and people wouldn’t be able to tell how high she was- but no, everybody knew. Someone was probably calling the grocery store cops right now and Raja would go to stoner girl jail and she’d never get to tell Manila how much she liked her...</p>
<p>After what might have been three minutes or possibly an hour, Raja looked up and saw Manila approaching from the end of the aisle. Raja breathed a sigh of relief, but found she still couldn’t move. Manila’s curly black hair was up in a high ponytail, her face glowed a little from her run, and her colourful leggings were really showing off her legs...</p>
<p>“Hi, bitch,” said Manila, stopping in front of Raja with a huge, teasing grin. “I can’t believe you did this to yourself. Come on.”</p>
<p>With that, Manila turned and motioned for Raja to follow, her but Raja couldn’t.</p>
<p>“Nnh-“ managed Raja, shaking her head. If she left the corner now-</p>
<p>“Raja,” said Manila, rolling her eyes. She reached out and took Raja’s loose hand, forcefully leading her down the aisle. Very shocked to suddenly be moving, Raja followed her passively, letting herself be led. But when they got to checkout Raja froze again, causing Manila to jerk to a stop. Raja shook her head frantically.</p>
<p>“Are you like actually having a panic attack or something?” asked Manila, concerned, looking carefully into Raja’s expression as Raja suddenly noticed a few curls that had come loose from her ponytail, sitting soft and almost weightless on Manila’s head-</p>
<p>“Nope, you’re just really high,” said Manila to herself, shaking her head, and then redirected her. “Self-checkout it is.”</p>
<p>They made it through the self-checkout and paid for the chips even though Raja really didn’t like the beeping machine and kept asking it to be quiet. And then <i>finally</i> Manila led her back outside into the sun. Raja breathed out a sigh of relief, glad to have escaped. They crossed the hot expanse of the parking lot and headed for home. It was rare that weed made her anxious and paranoid like that, but it did happen occasionally.</p>
<p>Manila let go of her hand and Raja immediately missed it, because Manila’s hand was warm and soft and fit nicely in hers. Hmm. Manila always showed up for her, reflected Raja vaguely, she was an exceptionally reliable force in a flakey world. Raja kept walking, gently swinging her plastic bag full of chips as her anxiety faded. Manila said something but Raja wasn’t really paying attention.</p>
<p>“Do you want to come over and play Nintendo?” asked Raja instead. “I’ve got Super Smash Bros.”</p>
<p>“That’s your response to what topic you’re doing for the paper for Professor O’Hara’s philosophy class?” laughed Manila.</p>
<p>“Uh, I’m working on it,” answered Raja, noticing the way the sun caught in Manila’s hair. Had she noticed these things about her before? They’d been friends for a while now, and Raja was pretty sure Manila liked girls too... or was at least willing to experiment. “I’m gonna write about Plato’s <i>Symposium,</i> probably.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, cool,” replied Manila, nodding so that her curly ponytail bounced, “I’ve got about six hundred words on <i>The Republic</i> so far.”</p>
<p>“Are you like dating Alexis?” asked Raja, changing the subject, “Or was that just a casual thing?”</p>
<p>“No,” said Manila, momentarily hesitating, “Well yeah, uh, it was unclear. But we ended it a little while ago, she’s with Yara now.”</p>
<p>“Right, I thought I saw them together. I didn’t realize you two were over.”</p>
<p>“Yeah I mean, you had your own drama going on...”</p>
<p>“Huh?” Raja couldn’t recall any drama in her own life. Raja liked to keep things really chill.</p>
<p>“Uh...” laughed Manila awkwardly, “You were dating Raven and then you broke up with her like super callously right in the middle of that party at Morgan’s and she screamed at you and then knocked that bottle of wine off the table and it broke and went everywhere and someone filmed it-“</p>
<p>“Oh yeah,” said Raja, shrugging and recalling the incident, “Well, she’s a very intense person. I don’t remember you being there, though?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know where you went but I was trying to help Morgan get the stain out of the carpet while she panicked about her damage deposit and Raven locked herself in the bathroom,” said Manila dryly.</p>
<p>“Well,” said Raja, and looked up at her house as the approached, blinking slowly, not sure if she had anything to add to that, “I guess I should apologize to her or whatever. But uh, you should come over anyway, all my roommates are out.”</p>
<p>“Okay, I’ll come up,” said Manila, poking Raja’s arm, “Just to make sure you drink some water and don’t green out on me.”</p>
<p>They went inside and Raja threw herself on to the couch on her side with a bag of chips in her arms, melting down into the cushions with a contented sigh. This was where she was meant to be.</p>
<p>Manila walked in to the kitchen and came back out with two glasses of water, sipping hers and handing the other to Raja.</p>
<p>“Ooh, thank you,” said Raja, half sitting up to take the glass, and chugged the entire thing, only now noticing she was totally cotton-mouthed and thirsty. Finally hydrated, the munchies were hitting hard and she tore open the bag of chips.</p>
<p>Manila sat down on the couch, shoving Raja’s long legs out of the way.</p>
<p>“Mmm, salt,” commented Manila dryly, taking a handful of chips and shoving them into her mouth. Crunching happily, she wiped her hand on her thigh and asked, “So, where’s the controller?”</p>
<p>Raja pointed it out and Manila picked it up, cancelled out Raja’s long-abandoned game, and returned to the main menu with a flick of her thumb on the mini joystick. She held the controller with an easy confidence, and it made Raja wonder what else Manila could do with with her hands and how exactly Alexis had benefitted from that…</p>
<p>“Are we gonna play two player or are you just watching?” asked Manila, turning towards her.</p>
<p>Raja considered everything for a moment: the beautiful golden sun streaming in the window, the glorious high she’d relaxed back into, the tasty chips, Manila’s truly beautiful ass that was just about touching Raja’s knee given the way they were positioned, and the fact that, well, Manila was <i>really</i> pretty and recently single and Raja had always preferred casual hookups or friends-with-benefits to relationships anyway, especially given the recent disaster- no, <i>situation,</i> with Raven...</p>
<p>“Do you wanna make out?” asked Raja instead, with what she hoped was a very seductive look.</p>
<p>Manila hesitated for a split second, then burst out laughing and said, “Uh, no?!”</p>
<p>“What, really?” complained Raja. She couldn’t recall the last time a girl had said no to that suggestion. Raven, Mariah, Alaska, Bianca, Shangela, Yvie... they’d all been into it, even if just for an afternoon or a night.</p>
<p>“As if!” said Manila, affecting her voice like she was Cher Horowitz before she laughed again and shook her head. Manila leaned forward and flicked through the menus, selecting the single player option, then her character and the arena. With a satisfied little smirk on the side of her mouth, Manila added, “Ask me again when you’re not stoned out of your mind.”</p>
<p>The music played out and Raja sulked and ate her chips and watched Manila play without really seeing it. Being stoned and mildly horny was usually a really fun combination, except when the other person wasn’t interested. Which <i>like never</i> happened! Maybe she’d invite Manila to stay for dinner, let her high fade and they could hang out and maybe things would get interesting a little later in the evening…</p>
<p>“Uh, so,” said Raja again, after watching Manila repeatedly beat the computer generated competition as Pikachu. The screen was starting to hurt her eyes a bit and she put the bag of chips down, craving human contact. Their friendship was platonically affectionate and hopefully that would still be on the table today. “Can I braid your hair?”</p>
<p>“Has anybody ever told you how weird you are?” said Manila in response, jabbing the A-button as she kicked Luigi off the platform.</p>
<p>“People think I’m very cool...”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s what you make them think. I can see right through it, though. You’re afraid of commitment, you’re kind of an anxious bitch and you use weed and the idea of <i>being chill</i> to cover all of that,” stated Manila, “But yeah, you can braid my hair.”</p>
<p>Raja decided to ignore the first part of what Manila had said and sat up, shuffling around behind her until she sat with her legs apart, Manila perched on the edge of the couch cushion between them as she bent forward with her elbows on her knees to play.</p>
<p>While Raja was mentally celebrating the perfect position for hair braiding she’d placed herself in, Manila aggressively jabbed at the controller and kicked the other players off the platform and won the round.</p>
<p>“Sweet,” said Manila, as the victory music played, reaching back and pulling the elastic band out of her ponytail to let her hair spill down her back. Happy and hazy, Raja carded her fingers through Manila’s hair as Manila loaded up another arena. </p>
<p>Manila continued, “Better hope Carmen isn’t mad that I’m beating all her high scores. I’m gonna unlock metallic Peach for her.”</p>
<p>Raja spent an indefinite period of time gently braiding Manila’s beautiful hair in a soothing repetitive pattern as her high slowly faded and Manila kicked ass at Super Smash Bros. Raja hadn’t ever really <i>noticed</i> Manila like this before. They were pretty good friends, and they’d always had a flirtatious undertone, and Manila went out of her way to hang out and even do favours for her… but Raja had always assumed she was just like, nice or whatever, but maybe it was something more that Raja simply hadn’t registered before. Playing with Manila’s hair wasn’t helping Raja feel any less horny, and there a low strum of sexual tension between them that Raja was sure Manila must be picking up on as well.</p>
<p>Suddenly the door opened and Raja looked up, dropping her hands. Delta was in the doorway, calling out a hello. Raja called back to her, vaguely shocked by the existence of other humans in the universe beyond herself and Manila.</p>
<p>Manila paused the game and got up off the couch and touched the back of her head, feeling at the multitude of little braids in her hair. </p>
<p>“Ha, I must look a mess,” said Manila, then she stretched her arms over her head, grimacing as her back cracked and continued, “Well, you’re barely high anymore and Delta’s back, so I take it my work here is done. I have to finish that paper tonight, see ya.”</p>
<p>With that, Manila sauntered off towards the door, leaving Raja distinctly abandoned on the couch.</p>
<p>“Uh, bye?” called Raja sarcastically after her as Manila shut the door.</p>
<p>Delta gave her a strong side-eyed look.</p>
<p>“What?” asked Raja.</p>
<p>“Since when are you into Manila?” asked Delta bluntly, sitting down into the couch next to Raja. Delta was keenly observant and it was something Raja admired about her, except when she was on the receiving end of that power.</p>
<p>“Since like an hour ago?” replied Raja, and told her about the grocery store adventure.</p>
<p>Delta laughed and totally roasted her while Raja whined complaints.</p>
<p>“She said to ask again when I’m less stoned, so I’m gonna do that the next time we hang out,” said Raja, with complete faith that the idea would work without any problems whatsoever, “What were you out doing this afternoon anyway?”</p>
<p>“Fooling around with that chemistry major I told you about,” replied Delta smugly, poking Raja’s arm, “I can’t believe you got too high and let a cute girl get away on you, you’re losing your touch.”</p>
<p>“You’re a terrible roommate,” complained Raja, but her smile gave her away, “And she’s not just some cute girl, she’s our friend…”</p>
<p>“Sure, but that can all change real quick if you get intimate…”</p>
<p>“It won’t change anything, it’ll be totally casual,” said Raja, <i>casually,</i> “She’s <i>gotta</i> be into me, she’s always nice, and we’re both like queer or whatever,” Raja flipped her hair over her shoulder and adopted a sexy voice, <i>“So why wouldn’t she wanna make out?”</i></p>
<p>“You’re so annoying,” laughed Delta, and then shook her head, “Just don’t break her heart, bitch, that’ll make our parties super awkward.”</p>
<p>Then they hung out and made dinner and then Raja remembered she was still pretty greasy and took a shower. After that she was really, truly, no longer high and it was time to actually work on her philosophy paper.</p>
<p>But Raja knew that something today had shifted. Maybe getting super high, freaking out in the grocery store and having Manila rescue her had brought something to the surface that always been there. Or maybe the affection and desire was totally new. It didn’t make that much of a difference to Raja. The next time the moment struck, she’d simply ask Manila again if she was interested. If Manila genuinely wasn’t then Raja would leave her alone, they’d remain friends, and she’d move on to someone else. But should Manila say yes… well, that would be <i>super fun,</i> wouldn’t it?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raja has a great time at her philosophy class this week, Manila strategically turns the whole situation into a joke, but their attempts to one-up each other go a little too far…</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter is dedicated to the term 'making out' and how ridiculous and vague it is lmao. thank you V&amp;albatross for the shoutout! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raja forgot that it was a Tuesday and smoked a huge blunt just after noon, before remembering that she had to leave for class in fifteen minutes. Uh oh.</p>
<p>But luckily Professor A. O’Hara’s philosophy class was a lecture and that meant Raja didn’t need to participate, she could just sit in the low-lit room, stare at the slides and let the words wash over her. Which was totally doable while high. Also, Manila was in that class, so Raja didn’t want to skip it.</p>
<p>Pleasantly hazy, Raja threw an open button-up shirt over her tank top, wandered over to Manila’s house a few doors down and knocked on the door.</p>
<p>Manila answered, her face pink and sweaty, her fantastic legs clad in neon green leggings.</p>
<p>“I just got back from the gym,” said Manila, “I still need to change, just give me a sec-“</p>
<p>“Sure,” said Raja, leaning casually against the porch railing. Manila looked pretty cute, all warm and sweaty like that. Raja reached into her front pocket and found a tiny little joint she must have forgotten in there the last time she’d worn this shirt.</p>
<p>Well, she was already high, so why the hell not? Raja sighed happily, thanking whatever deities had decided to smile upon her today as she fished her lighter out of her shorts, and lit up.</p>
<p>Manila came back out a few minutes later, in a neat little corduroy skirt that hugged her hips, shirt tucked in, and said, “Oh my god, are you getting high right now?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” replied Raja, happy and content, “I forgot it was Tuesday and started earlier, figured I may as well lean in, right?”</p>
<p>Manila rolled her eyes and shook her head, then locked the door.</p>
<p>They walked together to campus in the warm sun, and Raja began to feel soft, even a little loopy, like she needed to slow down...</p>
<p>“Hurry up, we’re going to be late,” urged Manila, walking ahead of her.</p>
<p>“Nah, just slow down a bit,” murmured Raja in response. The sun was catching in Manila’s hair again, the black curls shining with an almost reddish-orange highlight.</p>
<p>“Are you related to any gingers?” asked Raja, blithely.</p>
<p>“Uh, my uncle on my mom’s side,” replied Manila, “And so is one of my cousins. Why?”</p>
<p>“Your hair has this kinda red highlight in the sun...”</p>
<p>Manila laughed and it was a happy sound that Raja quite liked. But then Manila went behind Raja and pushed her, her hands on Raja’s back as she hustled her rapidly down the sidewalk, which Raja liked a little less. They finally got into the building and managed to make it to class with only seconds to spare.</p>
<p>Raja entered the dark room, supremely comfortable and chill, and took her usual seat. Manila sat next to her, taking out her neat little notebook and pen to take notes. She was so organized, Raja admired that about her.</p>
<p>Professor O’Hara greeted the class and hit the lights to begin the lecture. Raja smiled and nodded and basked in the weird glow of the PowerPoint while Manila diligently took notes next to her. The words washed over them both.</p>
<p>After the lecture was done and the lights turned back on, Professor O’Hara took questions from the class. Raja found she had a question too, and raised her hand.</p>
<p>“Don’t draw attention to yourself-“ hissed Manila next to her, trying to grab Raja’s hand and force it back down.</p>
<p>But Professor O’Hara has already addressed her, so Raja batted Manila off and opened her mouth.</p>
<p>“Uh, so…” began Raja, leaning forward and putting her chin in her hand, pausing for what she was sure was only a couple seconds. An amused murmur rippled through the crowd. “So, when Plato talks about you know, <i>duality,</i> what if-“</p>
<p>Raja wasn’t sure where she was going with her question, but she was confident it was going <i>somewhere,</i> and kept talking. Professor O’Hara had an amused expression on her face, and pressed her lips together, not quite making eye contact. Next to Raja, Manila slid lower in her seat and shielded her eyes with her hand.</p>
<p>“...so like, isn’t that connected to Aristotle’s original idea about being?” finished Raja.</p>
<p>Muffled laughter sounded throughout the class. What was so funny?</p>
<p>Professor O’Hara blinked, and cocked her head to the side, then said, “Well, to <i>everyone’s</i> surprise that’s actually an excellent question, Raja-“ and proceeded to answer it.</p>
<p>Raja glowed with the praise, nodding her head slowly as Professor O’Hara answered her question, and further elaborated on the content of the lecture, which inspired more questions from the class. Raja remained pleasantly blazed. Coming to class like this had been a great idea after all-</p>
<p>Soon enough it was over, and Raja yawned, sleepy, and stretched as Manila put her things back in her bag.</p>
<p>“Raja,” said Manila with resignation, hoisting her backpack to her shoulder, while the rest of the class filed out around them, throwing amused glances in Raja’s direction, “Everybody knows you’re high.”</p>
<p>“Mmm...” replied Raja, content, getting up from her seat and tripping a little on the edge of the chair, “Yeah, this time I don’t care.”</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>The problem with Raja, considered Manila as they walked back down the street together after class and Raja prattled away, happy and stoned, was that from the day they’d met Manila wanted throw her against the wall, furiously make out with her, have insanely hot sex in every imaginable way, move in together, start their lives, be completely and utterly in love, have like four kids and three dogs, raise them, retire, get old, and die together. </p>
<p>Obviously that was a little much. </p>
<p>Manila had quickly learned that her desperate fantasy seemed to be the exact opposite of what Raja was looking for. Raja’s priorities seemed to consist of getting stoned, getting laid, playing video games and going to class. Apparently in that order. So, they became good friends instead, along with Delta and Carmen, and had an excellent friendship that involved terrible humour, petty competition, and affectionately roasting one another to death. Given that Raja had never shown any romantic interest in her, Manila did her best to shove her feelings to the back of her mind. She wasn’t going to ruin a great friendship with her idiotic <i>feelings,</i> god forbid!</p>
<p>So, not that Raja randomly asking her to make out the other day had <i>thrown Manila’s world off its axis</i> or anything, just… ugh.</p>
<p>They kept walking, and Raja kept talking to herself. Admittedly, she was making some great points about Plato.</p>
<p>“Carmen’s kinda mad at you, by the way,” said Raja, turning to her. Her deep brown eyes were a little bloodshot, but still shockingly intense and beautiful.</p>
<p>“Why?” asked Manila, glancing at the blue, open sky instead. It was a lovely day.</p>
<p>“‘Cause you unlocked metallic Peach the other day. She wanted to unlock metallic Peach.”</p>
<p>“Tell her the day she beats me at literally <i>one</i> round of Smash Bros is the day I’ll stop unlocking stuff for her,” said Manila.</p>
<p>“This is just as bad as the Mario Kart Incident last April,” said Raja, who was still looking at her, and then added, in an apparent non-sequitur, “Hey, has anyone ever told you you’re like really pretty?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, my mom,” replied Manila sarcastically, but her heart beat a little faster with the compliment.</p>
<p>“No, come on!” replied Raja, with a blissed-out expression and a goofy smile, “You are, though. Your hair is like so nice-“</p>
<p>Manila didn’t know what to say. Getting this kind of attention from Raja wasn’t something she’d anticipated happening, it was making her feel vulnerable and a little turned on, and she wanted to believe that it meant something… but doubt congealed in her stomach. It didn’t mean anything beyond a casual, well-intentioned, <i>platonic</i> expression of attraction. This was just how Raja was.</p>
<p>“Shut up!” laughed Manila semi-hysterically, impulsively pushing Raja in response. Raja was stoned and off-balance enough that she tripped and fell into the neighbour’s garden with an indignant squawk. Manila felt bad for a split second, then laughed out loud.</p>
<p>“Hey!” protested Raja, picking herself up from the enormous hosta plant she’d fallen into, her long black hair in her face, “I thought you liked me!”</p>
<p>“I do like you, you don’t need to worry about that!” said Manila over her shoulder, maintaining a joking attitude and walking up the steps to her house.</p>
<p>“You’re the worst,” whined Raja, making a face, then flipping her off in a friendly goodbye. Manila returned the gesture.</p>
<p>Manila went inside and got a snack from the kitchen, said hi to her roommate Shangela who’d just gotten out of the shower, and went into her room. Manila dropped her backpack to the ground and flopped down on her bed. </p>
<p>It was simple: Raja was blazed as usual and messing with her, that was all. But if there was anything Manila was good at, it was messing with people in return.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Raja wasn’t used to being rejected. She was, after all, very cool, extremely sexy, highly intelligent and always had weed. Clearly a catch! But apparently not to Manila. Raja knew Manila liked her, Manila had specifically said so the other day! They were already friends, they understood each other’s humour, and they hung out regularly, which was half the battle when it came to getting involved with somebody, even casually.</p>
<p>So, at Morgan’s Hallowe’en party, Raja found herself on the enormous, crumby couch, passing a blunt back and forth with Manila and several others. Some mid-2000s hip hop music played in the background, and way too many people were packed into the space in ridiculous costumes. Manila was pressed in next to her on the crowded couch. Earlier Raja had noted Raven somewhere at the other end of the house, pointedly ignoring her, which was ideal.</p>
<p>Manila somehow managed to look incredibly cute while dressed as Weird Al Yankovic, fake moustache and all, which was a feat in and of itself. Raja was dressed as Raoul Duke from <i>Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,</i> because she related to him on a spiritual level, and already had the sunglasses for it. Their dumb costumes even matched, both featuring ugly Hawaiian shirts. Manila was cracking a joke with Carmen on her other side, and Raja figured this was as good an opportunity as any. Raja slung a casual arm around Manila, passed the blunt back to her and whispered in her ear, “Do you wanna make out?”</p>
<p>Manila put the blunt to her lips and inhaled deeply, the end glowing orange as Raja waited with anticipation for her answer, excitement mounting in her stomach.</p>
<p>With a smirk, Manila blew a lungful of smoke into Raja’s face, then she rested her hand on Raja’s thigh, and leaned in. Raja’s heartbeat accelerated.</p>
<p>Manila shut her eyes and Raja shut hers too, barely able to believe it was happening. Manila’s lips brushed against hers, soft, thrilling, just the barest hint of contact-</p>
<p>Manila pulled back abruptly, and Raja opened her eyes, confused. </p>
<p>Manila gave her an absolutely shit-eating grin and declared, “Nope!”</p>
<p>Raja’s jaw, along with her mood, dropped with disappointment. An odd moment passed between them. Through her haze Raja realized, with Manila's shit-eating grin and her hand on still suggestively on her thigh, that Manila was mocking her. Raja, totally stoned, asking her to make out with <i>for a second time with the exact same line</i> had inevitably, painfully, become a joke. </p>
<p>Raja huffed, insulted, and turned away. Manila cackled.</p>
<p>On Raja’s other side someone new sat down, a pretty, athletic and tanned girl with dirty blonde hair, her amazing body in clad in what was basically red lingerie and devil horns. Raja recognized her, she was that girl a year or two below them who went running with Manila sometimes. She was laughing, her head thrown back, at something another blonde beside her was saying.</p>
<p>Raja tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Hey, you’re cute, do <i>you</i> wanna make out?”</p>
<p>The girl blinked at her in shock, and then grinned, and said, “Uh, oh my god, yeah.”</p>
<p>“Great.”</p>
<p>“Damn, you’re so direct, I’ve had a crush on you like forev-”</p>
<p>Raja ignored her, took her face in her hands and leaned in. Their lips met and the girl let out an excited gasp. She tasted like Jack Daniels and smelled like tropical perfume. Nice. And she was a great kisser, with an enthusiastic and knowing tongue. The girl’s warm hands immediately went to Raja’s shoulders. Around them a few people oohed and laughed, and Raja caressed the girl’s lower back and practically pulled her into her lap. Raja’s bucket hat fell off the back of her head.</p>
<p>Manila was still laughing at something on Raja’s other side, but her laughter stopped abruptly, and Raja felt the couch shift as Manila stood up. Raja broke the kiss for a moment and glanced over her shoulder in time to see Manila stomp away, furious jealousy in every line of her body, throwing her fake glasses to the floor.</p>
<p>That’s right, <i>burn.</i></p>
<p>Smug, Raja went back to making out with the blonde chick in her lap, their hands wandering all over each other until someone yelled at them to get a room. May as well. Raja got up and led the girl into Morgan’s messy bedroom and shut the door.</p>
<p>“You know you’re like a <i>legend</i> around here, right?” chuckled the blonde girl, grasping the edge of Raja’s shirt and pulling her down onto the bed with her, “By the way, my name’s Willam-”</p>
<p>“That’s nice,” replied Raja, crawling on top of her, kissing her neck and getting down to business.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>It became an inside joke.</p>
<p>Manila had barely managed to pull it off, because coming so close to kissing Raja had been horribly thrilling, <i>(electric, overwhelming, transcendent),</i> and she’d wanted so badly for it to be real, to be anything other than just a stoned-and-low-key-horny suggestion on Raja’s part-</p>
<p>So, despite Manila’s burst of jealousy over Raja’s makeout session at the Hallowe’en party with Willam, her gym buddy of all people, their friendship remained strong and uninterrupted. Manila didn’t hold it against Willam either, who’d been all too happy to talk about it at their next cardio and gossip session, because Raja was generally irresistible. Manila <i>sure as hell</i> wasn’t going to let it get to her. After all, this kind of thing was in the nature of a friendship that largely consisted of roasting each other to death over a high-octane flame.</p>
<p>As the week passed the joke got even funnier. Raja got over sulking about it, and started purposefully asking Manila to make out at the most hilarious, awkward, and inopportune times.</p>
<p>For example:</p>
<p>Playing Smash Bros at Raja’s house late on a Saturday night with Delta and Carmen, everybody squashed on the couch: “Can we make out if I win?” “As if you’d ever beat me, bitch.” “It’s true Raja, you kind of suck at Nintendo-” “Shut up!”</p>
<p>Hollered across the quad, much to Manila’s embarrassment and Raja’s enjoyment, in front of a crowd of freshman, “Hey Manila, you wanna come over here and make out!?” “Go shove your tongue down somebody else’s throat!” “Aw, rude!”</p>
<p>In the hallway after class, just as Professor O’Hara walked by, loudly: “Wanna come back to my place and make out?” “Oh my god, Raja!” “Ladies.” “Sorry, professor!”</p>
<p>Whispered in the library, “Do you wanna go into the stacks and make out?” “Write your essay.” “I’m done, though-“ “What, already!?”</p>
<p>Even Delta and Carmen got in on it, and Manila had to dodge the question from them too. Teasing, sexy requests of, <i>Hey, wanna make out, Manila?</i> followed her around, as Manila clapped back hilarious retorts to gales of laughter. It was fun and Manila rode the wave of attention with aplomb.</p>
<p>Manila figured that this particular’s joke’s shelf life would only last as long as any other and would soon fade into oblivion, replaced by whatever came next, and Manila would <i>never</i> have to address or bring to light her feelings for Raja.</p>
<p>In her opinion, she’d handled the situation perfectly. And Manila praised herself for it as she ran her usual route, glancing up at Raja’s house as she ran by.</p>
<p>But every night before she fell asleep, a little voice tugged at the back of her brain and said, <i>maybe you shouldn’t mock people when they express attraction to you, that’s kind of fucked up, and she’s your friend, maybe she actually does like you back-</i> Manila aggressively quashed it.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“Hey, so,” said Raja, on the way to the library with Manila to buckle down and write their philosophy papers together as the end of term approached, “<i>Why</i> don’t you want to make out with me? Like, I’m a total catch.”</p>
<p>It hadn’t previously occurred to her to ask, but maybe this would help her get a leg up on the situation. Ideally Manila’s leg. Ideally up on her shoulder while Raja ate her out, and Manila blushed pink like she sometimes did, and tangled her hands in Raja’s hair, and gasped and arched her back and- that was neither here nor there. As hilarious as it was, the <i>joke</i> had been driving Raja a little insane. If Manila had said, in any seriousness, that she wanted Raja to stop asking, Raja would have. But she hadn’t, Manila had leaned in to the silly, flirtatious back and forth. </p>
<p>Instead of forgetting about it, the endless teasing and parody of the matter had only reinforced what Raja wanted in the first place.</p>
<p>“Well,” said Manila after a pause, adjusting her heavy bag and glancing at the cloudy sky, “You don’t take school very seriously.”</p>
<p>“What?” laughed Raja, who’d been expecting something more along the lines of <i>I’m genuinely not attracted to you</i> or <i>I think I want to date guys again,</i> “Is that really it? I totally do!”</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“No you don’t, you’re a huge stoner.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah but thats just for fun, I’m like really smart,” replied Raja, grinning, “You should see my GPA.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Mmm no, you’re real dumb,” sassed Manila. She shook her head and her curly hair, up in a high ponytail again today, bounced with the motion and Raja wanted to run her fingers through it. “You’re a total goofball and everyone knows it. You show up to class high! I have like a 3.82, and I want to keep it there.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“How would making out with me affect your grades?”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“They say you are what you eat…”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>They both exploded into laughter, causing the other students walking down the busy campus path to throw irritated glances their way.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Bitch,” replied Raja, elbowing her, “A 3.82 is nothing-”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Hey, no,” protested Manila, stopping and turning to her, “It’s like really good, don’t talk down my accomplishments just because you’re jealous-“</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I have a 3.91.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Manila opened and shut her mouth in shock, before responding, “No you don’t, you’re lying.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“No I’m not.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Prove it.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Sure,” chuckled Raja, taking out her phone and going to the school website, launching the grading centre, pulling up her current transcript and grade point average, “Look.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Raja handed Manila her phone, gloating. The screen read 3.91847. Manila took it and her eyes narrowed, and she scrolled up to check that it was actually Raja’s name at the top, then back down again. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Guess I do <i>take school seriously,</i>” taunted Raja, unable to suppress the urge to tease her.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>With unexpected force, Manila shoved the phone back into Raja’s hands.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Whatever!” snapped Manila, rushing ahead furiously.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Hey, where are you going?” called Raja after her, laughing, “Don’t be mad just ‘cause I get better grades than you-“</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’ll see you at the library!” snarled Manila over her shoulder, power walking down the street.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Raja watched Manila walk away, pleased that she’d proven her wrong her but confused as to why she was so mad. Raja wandered into the little smoking area with a couple of scraggly trees and fished in her bag for a tiny joint she’d hidden there earlier. She found it and lit up, inhaling the comforting smoke. Just a little something to help get those creative and intellectual juices flowing…</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>-</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>After a few hours of work in the library while Raja pumped dreamwave tunes through her headphones directly into her skull and wrote her philosophy paper, she looked up and noticed Manila sighing deeply for like the fourth time.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“What’s up?” whispered Raja, taking her headphones off.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Nothing,” whispered Manila back. Her eyebrows were scrunched together.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Are you mad at me?”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“No.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Fine.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Raja put her headphones back on, without music, and wrote a few more sentences, pausing to check her references. She was going to get a hundred percent on this paper, she already knew it. Raja had been a bit of a child prodigy in terms of reading and writing comprehension, and her memory, her research skills, her grasp of history, literature, sociology and philosophy were outstanding. Her two dads were loving and supportive hippies who let her do whatever she wanted, so her sense of freedom and confidence had soared throughout her college career along with her grades.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I can’t <i>believe</i> you have a higher GPA than me,” complained Manila, under her breath.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Raja took her headphones off again and gloated, “Yep, this <i>huge stoner</i> right here is better at school than you.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Manila glared at her, then sighed again. Raja smirked, but her face fell, because Manila actually looked sad. And tired. There were lines under her eyes. Sympathy tugged at Raja’s stomach. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Well, a 3.82 <i>is</i> really good,” began Raja, shutting her laptop and leaning forward, “Like, it’s above average-”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Don’t be patronizing,” said Manila, shaking her head, closing her laptop and gathering up her books, “I can’t work on this anymore, let’s head out.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Okay, sure,” said Raja, getting up. A few people at other tables were glaring at them anyway, angry about the interruption of the silence. Raja wanted to make Manila feel better, and wondered how.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>They left the library, walking together through the dark evening in the direction of home. It was a clear night, and the stars were just visible. Raja dug around in her bag for a joint but couldn’t find one.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I have that good spicy instant ramen and Cheetos at home,” suggested Raja after a few minutes, “It’s not that late if you want to come over.“</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“So we can make out?” added Manila sarcastically.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“No,” replied Raja, “Just to like decompress, I dunno, <i>I’m</i> hungry, I thought you might be too…”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Do you ever eat vegetables?”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Weed is a plant.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Manila laughed and shook her head.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“What’s bothering you?” pressed Raja. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
“I try like, <i>really</i> hard,” said Manila, after a pause, “I take college seriously, and my parents have such high expectations of me, I just- I put so much work into it and you-” Manila gestured at her, “You fucking coast, Raja. Look at yourself. You get stoned all the time, you party and play Nintendo. And honestly, you treat the girls you date like they’re disposable, Raven’s reaction wasn’t <i>that</i> unreasonable… but everyone still likes you, you <i>somehow</i> have a perfect GPA and you look amazing-”
  
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah, I do look amazing,” agreed Raja, with a smile. She decided to ignore the middle part of what Manila had said.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“-and you have the self-awareness of a fruit bat.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Raja looked carefully at Manila. Her expression was tired and frustrated, the orange glow of the streetlight catching in her hair. Despite the way they constantly roasted one another, Raja cared about her, and it saddened her to hear that Manila was feeling the pressure of… well, everything.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Self-awareness. Hmm. Raja could work on that. Maybe that was the key to getting Manila to see that she wasn’t joking, that Raja genuinely, unexpectedly, to her own surprise, <i>really liked her.</i></i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“So,” said Raja, as they approached her house, the living room light shining like a beacon, indicating that Delta or Carmen was still up, “Instant ramen and Cheetos? You can kick my ass at Smash Bros, that always makes you feel better.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“You know what, sure,” replied Manila, rolling her eyes, a smile at the edge of her mouth, “I’m gonna hand you your ass on a silver platter, bitch. Especially since you always insist on playing as Yoshi for some reason…”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Raja smiled to herself as they went up the front steps to her door.</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raja’s attempt at self-awareness uncovers some complicated feelings. Manila has a paranoid moment, there’s another party, and a big old miscommunication.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>we now enter the idiots portion of this friends-to-idiots-to-lovers tale. thanks to everyone who has read, commented and offered encouragement. this has been fun to write :)</p><p>cw: mild jealousy, alcohol, vomiting</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So, Manila thinks I lack self-awareness,” announced Raja to the kitchen as she stirred a large helping of weed into the pot of melted butter on the stove. She wanted to get a second opinion on the matter, and her roommates were a great place to start.</p><p>Delta and Carmen burst out laughing. </p><p>“Yeah, no shit,” deadpanned Delta, who was next to her at the counter, chopping vegetables.</p><p>“What? Come on… ” complained Raja, turning away from the stove. Apparently the second opinion was mockery.</p><p>“You’re one of the least self-aware people I’ve ever met,” added Carmen, who was sitting at the kitchen table with her knees up and drinking tea, “Like, it’s kind of charming but also maybe worth a psychological study, you know?”</p><p>“Well you’re a Psych major, write a paper on me or whatever.”</p><p>“You know, that’s not a bad idea…”</p><p>“So wait, you’re still into her?” said Delta, with exaggerated concerned, “Raja, how long has it been?”</p><p>“A while… ” replied Raja vaguely, stirring her concoction with a wooden spoon. The smell of weed infusing into butter permeated the room. </p><p>“That’s for real? I thought it was a joke,” said Carmen, putting her tea down, “This isn’t normal for you.”</p><p>“I’d even say unprecedented,” added Delta, with a smirk at the edge of her mouth.</p><p>“Ugh, stop it,” whined Raja, pouting.</p><p>When Raja decided the infusion was sufficient, she took the weed butter mixture and dumped it through a strainer into a large bowl, then turned back to the stove and put several squares of baking chocolate in the same pot, leaving it to melt over low heat.</p><p>“I just want to… ” said Raja, trying to gather her thoughts and feelings into one place. She got out the eggs, sugar and flour. What she felt for Manila was a wonderful and frustrating mixture of friendship and attraction. It wasn’t much different from the way she felt about her other friends, but it was stronger and a lot more distracting. There wasn’t any good way to express it. “…I don’t know, make out with her.”<br/>
</p><p>“That much is obvious,” laughed Delta. “So do it already.”</p><p>“I’m trying but she thinks I’m joking, she keeps making fun of me! I don’t get it, what am I doing wrong?”</p><p>“Well if you want more than a casual hook-up, then maybe tell her that… but like, in a subtle way,” said Carmen, sipping her tea, “You’ll have an opportunity today, I invited her over for a Mario Kart rematch-“</p><p>“No!” exclaimed Raja and Delta at the same time. Mario Kart was banned at their house for a reason.</p><p>“Also,” continued Carmen as though they hadn’t spoken, motioning at Raja’s bowl, “Are the special brownies just for you, or for everyone?”</p><p>“Everyone,” replied Raja, wondering if Carmen was right, maybe she <i>did</i> want a little more than just a casual makeout session with Manila. She mixed the sugar and melted chocolate into the butter with a whisk. But what did <i>more</i> even mean? “They’re for that party at Morgan’s this weekend.”</p><p>“Oooh, that’ll be fun.”</p><p>-</p><p>Luckily Raja and Delta managed to convince Carmen and Manila to avoid a friendship-shattering Mario Kart rematch and they all played Super Smash Bros as usual while the scent of baking brownies filled the apartment. </p><p>Manila seemed more relaxed today, squashed into the couch with the three roommates. Raja had been defeated first, she put her controller down as her character died and tilted her head to rest on Manila’s shoulder.</p><p>“Guess what I did last night?” said Manila out of the blue, her quick thumbs jabbing at the controller and building up combinations of moves to strike at Carmen on the screen, to Carmen’s frustrated grumble next to her.</p><p>“What?” asked Raja lazily, while on the screen Carmen and Manila teamed up to rip Delta’s character to shreds. Manila smelled like lavender conditioner. Would her neck taste like that too?</p><p>“Yara started Snapchatting me, apparently she’s mad at Alexis now,” said Manila, in a self-congratulatory tone, “And it got a little sexy.”</p><p>“How sexy are we talking?” asked Delta immediately, her voice full of intrigue.</p><p>“Yeah, how sexy?” added Carmen, trying to get her character back up onto the platform as Manila turned on her.</p><p>A weird feeling swirled in Raja’s stomach. She frowned, still resting her head on Manila’s shoulder, almost afraid to look at her expression. On the screen, Delta’s character died and Delta dropped her controller, clearly far more interested in the story than she was in the game.</p><p>“We might’ve…” drawled Manila, suggestively, “Exchanged a few pictures and videos and uh, <i>you know.</i>”</p><p>“Oh my god, you did that with Yara?!” exclaimed Delta, delighted. “While she’s still dating Alexis? Whore.”</p><p>“Mmm,” said Manila smugly, nudging Raja’s leg with her own, while on the screen she summoned a thunderbolt and attacked Carmen. “You know what I like about her? She’s incredibly <i>self-aware-</i>”</p><p>“I think the brownies are done!” exclaimed Raja, leaping up from the couch and walking furiously out of the room into the kitchen, to the laughter of her three friends.</p><p>Raja paced around the kitchen, fuming. The joke had gone too far at this point, and Manila was just rubbing it in and being mean. Raja wasn’t even that jealous of Manila’s interaction with Yara, she just didn’t understand what was so appealing about someone on the other side of a screen, when Raja herself was a warm, living, breathing human and <i>right here!</i></p><p>Raja mourned how incredibly unjust the whole situation was, and took the brownies out of the oven. She waited for them to cool, listening to the conversation and the noise from the TV as Manila once again royally defeated everyone in the room and Carmen complained that she’d win if they were playing Mario Kart…</p><p>It hit Raja like a lightning bolt. Maybe she could just tell Manila how she felt, ask her <i>directly</i> what she wanted, and see if it made a difference and would make the stupid joke stop. Raja beamed at her reflection in the window and posed victoriously. She was self-aware as <i>fuck.</i></p><p>But first, weed brownies.</p><p>Raja sliced the still-warm tray, taking out four pieces so there was one for everyone if they wanted. Raja’s recipe was <i>potent</i> so it was best to be careful and start small. She put them on a little plate and brought it back out into the living room. </p><p>“Who wants to get wrecked?” asked Raja with a big grin, coming back around the corner to where Delta was stretching, Carmen had a competitive look on her face and Manila was gently taunting her.</p><p>“Me!”</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p>“Same.”</p><p>“Wicked,” said Raja, and plopped back down in her spot on the couch, offering the plate. Everyone took a piece, and complimented her on the taste. What a lovely way to spend an afternoon.</p><p>“It’s not working,” complained Manila, after another few more rounds of Smash Bros, “We’re gonna need more.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m not really feeling it,” added Delta.</p><p>“Just give it time, you two are so impatient,” said Raja, rolling her eyes.</p><p>An hour later Raja was thoroughly couch-locked, lying on her side, a deep relaxation throughout her body. Her thoughts were slow and gentle, like great blue whales moving in the vast Pacific. Manila sat next to her, slumped back, her expression glazed over. Delta was flat on her back on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Carmen was curled up in the easy chair next to the couch, her caramel hair spilling over the arm.</p><p>The Smash Bros theme played over and over from the opening menu on the TV, but the controllers were completely abandoned. </p><p>“Do you think they’re spying on us?” whispered Manila, staring straight ahead. </p><p>“Who?” asked Raja, squinting at her.</p><p>“I dunno, the CIA?”</p><p>“I mean, probably.”</p><p>“No… ” groaned Manila in response, bringing a hand to her mouth, “I don’t want that.”</p><p>“Are you getting paranoid?” asked Raja, slow concern rising in her body.</p><p>“No… ” said Manila, and looked around, her expression growing nervous, “But, they could be, right? Anyone could be. Do you think they have cameras like, in our phones?”</p><p>“Yeah,” replied Raja, blinking glacially, “There’s cameras in our phones, duh. How else would we take pictures?”</p><p>Manila scrunched her eyebrows together and whimpered, anxiously pushing her phone off the couch so it clattered on the floor.</p><p>“No,” managed Delta from next to the coffee table, “I don’t think-”</p><p>Raja loosely realized that Manila was heading in the direction of a bad time. Raja sat up, shifting her slow, heavy limbs to pull Manila up too so that they sat cross-legged on the couch, looking at each other. Manila’s pupils were huge, and her lips were slightly parted.</p><p>“No one’s watching you,” said Raja, attempting confidence, “Uh, no one that matters, anyway.”</p><p>“What if I fail all my classes?” whispered Manila.</p><p>“You’re not gonna.”</p><p>“But what if I do?”</p><p>Raja reached forward and took Manila’s face in her hands, and said, “Then we’ll drop out together and become… drag kings. Or entrepreneurs. We’d be good at that.”</p><p>Manila let out a tiny laugh, but her eyebrows remained worried. Totally spaced out, Raja just smiled at her and hoped it helped.</p><p>Manila reached out and took Raja’s face in her hands as well, stroking her thumbs across Raja’s cheekbones. The action was so oddly intimate and animal that, in a flash, Raja understood exactly why and how human beings were descended from apes, and before that, how fish had first crawled out of the vast, primordial ocean onto land.</p><p>“What are you thinking about?” asked Manila, her voice soft, her pupils huge. Her hair was a curly cascade down her shoulders.</p><p>“Whales,” murmured Raja in response, and in her minds eye another blue whale of thought rose up, carrying with it the idea that it might be lovely to kiss Manila right now-</p><p>“That’s beautiful,” whispered Manila, with rare earnestness.</p><p>“Do you wanna make out?” murmured Raja. Manila’s face was warm, and the scent of her lavender conditioner drifted from her hair into Raja’s nose again.</p><p>“Yeah, but Delta and Carmen are right here,” said Manila, dropping her hands from Raja’s face to rest on her forearms. Raja let go of Manila’s face as well, resting her hands in her lap as Manila’s positive response slowly registered in her mind. Her fingertips almost tingled.</p><p>“They don’t care.”</p><p>“We totally don’t,” agreed Carmen from the chair, where she’d shifted, now upside down with her legs draped over the back of it, “That might be kinda hot, actually.”</p><p>“We should paint the ceiling…” whispered Delta, awed, from the floor.</p><p>“We can make out in the future,” said Manila, patting Raja’s arm in a reassuring way, and reaching for the bag of chips on the table.</p><p>“The future?” said Raja, a whale of concern surfacing in her mind, “Like, with global warming and Mars colonies?”</p><p>“Yeah, then.”</p><p>Later, when Manila had stumbled home and Raja was a bit less high, she remembered that Manila had technically said <i>yes,</i> and considered it to be good progress. In fact, now that she’d truly registered it, excitement was growing in her chest. Finally, her proposition had worked! She couldn’t wait. </p><p>-</p><p>Manila awoke the next day to the pure adrenaline and terror that can only be brought on by the violence of a loud alarm clock after too little sleep. Manila slapped at the stop button on her alarm and willed her heart to stop racing. It was just the weed, she reasoned to herself as she stared at the ceiling and <i>still felt high,</i> it was just the weed that had made her say <i>yes.</i> Raja’s fucking weed brownies. Raja wouldn’t even remember the conversation. Hopefully. Not that touching her face and staring into her deep brown eyes hadn’t been nice, really nice. </p><p>Raja was a lot more… attentive, lately. Affectionate. Caring. Maybe a little jealous, as proven by Manila’s complete and utter lie about Yara, which she’d strategically employed to test the waters. Raja was acting the way you’d act around someone who was maybe more than just a friend or a casual hookup…</p><p>But Manila wasn’t exactly sure what to do with that information. </p><p>Manila supposed she could’ve just told Raja how she felt, as she willed herself to get out of bed, but she sensed that once she started talking she wouldn’t be able to stop and it would all come out. All those painful feelings she’d been storing away since they’d met. There was no humanly possible way to be <i>chill</i> about it.</p><p>More immediately, there was the matter of getting to her morning class. It was the only other class she shared with Raja, and Manila didn’t believe in skipping class except in the circumstance of dire illness. Manila got dressed, put on some mom jeans and tried to find all her stuff, then hurried outside to find Raja waiting for her on the sidewalk out front, with a big grin, saying, “You’re late.”</p><p>“No, I’m not.”</p><p>“Yeah, you are.”</p><p>Raja stared at her for a long time, and Manila stared back and blinked. Even in the morning, with dark circles under her eyes, unbrushed hair, those stupid yellow sunglasses and an ugly, oversized camouflage T-shirt, Raja still looked impossibly sexy. Ugh. Manila hated her, and herself, for a split second.</p><p>“You’re still high,” stated Raja, her grin growing like the Cheshire Cat. </p><p>“Just a little.”</p><p>“I am too.”</p><p>“Whoop-de-fucking-do for us.”</p><p>“Mm-hmm,” hummed Raja smugly, and they walked down the street towards campus, falling into step. </p><p>Manila knew she had readings to do later, but maybe she’d take a break and play Legend of Zelda this afternoon. Zelda always made her feel better, and maybe if she beat the Water Temple she’d feel a little less head over heels in stupid, unrequited love with Raja. Raja slung a lazy arm over her shoulder as they walked and Manila decided that it may as well happen, and wrapped her arm around Raja’s back, because human contact was nice and it made her feel a little less annoyed about everything.</p><p>-</p><p>Everyone at the party at Morgan’s house (except Raven) cheered when Raja put the plate of weed brownies down on the kitchen table and announced, “Alright bitches, they’re <i>special and potent,</i> and they take about forty-five minutes to kick in, so start small.”</p><p>But Raja hadn’t indulged in her own creations tonight. Instead, she sipped some wine and watched as Manila played an incredibly loud and competitive round of beer pong with Shangela and her dancer friends. Raja had decided to go right back to what Manila had first told her on the day she’d freaked out at the grocery store and had her little realization, which was to ask her when she wasn’t high. And to tell her how she felt. With like, <i>words.</i></p><p>She’d discussed her plan thoroughly with Delta, who thought the whole thing was getting ridiculous and someone should probably just lock Raja and Manila in a room together until they figured it out. Unfortunately it wasn’t up to Delta. Raja laughed as Shangela victoriously sunk the ping pong ball again and Manila grumbled and drank up.</p><p>Raja went out on the deck, leaning on the railing and looking out at the yard. It was a warm night with a gentle breeze, and Raja felt the urge to light up a joint but pushed it aside. In the opposite corner of the deck, Manila’s gym buddy, Willam, was talking to somebody. Raja nodded to her, and she nodded back and continued her conversation. Music and light spilled out of the house.</p><p>Raja smoothed down her shirt and waited. She’d told Manila she’d be out on the deck for a while and hopefully Manila would come find her after she inevitably lost to Shangela at beer pong. Shangela had the hand-eye coordination of a heart surgeon, even a few drinks in, and while Manila was great at Smash Bros, and liked to run and work out, her depth perception in real life had room for improvement.</p><p>So Raja waited, and tried not to sweat nervously. It was awkward not being high at a party. Hmm. Perhaps what Manila had said about Raja being <i>kind of an anxious bitch</i> was right… </p><p>A couple minutes later Manila stumbled out onto the deck with a red solo cup in her hand, laughing at something happening behind her. Unfortunately, Willam caught Manila’s eye before she noticed Raja lurking in the corner like a gremlin, and she went over and talked to her. Raja glanced over at some antics happening on the lawn, until Manila finally turned around and sauntered the few short steps across the deck to her. </p><p>“Ugh, I can’t believe Shangela beat me <i>again,</i>” complained Manila, leaning on the railing next to Raja, “She wins like every time!”</p><p>“See how it feels?” teased Raja.</p><p>“Whatever bitch, you deserve to be last at something,” replied Manila, nudging her and giving her a tipsy grin.</p><p>Raja chuckled and took a moment to gather herself. She’d never had to tell anyone she <i>actually liked them</i> before, and really wasn’t sure where to start. Normally, most people wanted to make out and leave it at that and if they caught feelings then Raja would either go along with it or let them down easy. Raja snuck a glance at Manila. Her hair was up a high ponytail again tonight, brushing the back of her neck, and her little smirk had a knowing edge to it. Her tight black shirt was… low-cut. Raja quickly looked back up at her face.</p><p>“You’re not smoking your usual blunt,” observed Manila, bluntly, after a moment of silence.</p><p>“Oh yeah, no,” said Raja, twisting her hands together. This would have been <i>way easier</i> high. “I didn’t feel like it.”</p><p>“So you had some of your brownies earlier.”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“Ooh, so you’re <i>drinking</i> tonight,” said Manila with a conspiratorial smile, gesturing at the mostly untouched red solo cup balanced on the ledge of the railing next to Raja, and raising her own.</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>“You’re sober?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“<i>Why?</i>” asked Manila, scrunching up her nose, as cute as she was incredulous, “We’re at a party.”</p><p>Raja wasn’t entirely sure why she was so mercilessly sober at this party either, but then she remembered the task at hand. </p><p>Dodging the question, Raja clutched at her cup and said, “So, I kind of wanted to tell you something.”</p><p>“What?” asked Manila, turning around and leaning back against the railing, resting her elbows on the edge.</p><p>“Uh,” said Raja, and let out an awkward laugh, “Well.” She took a deep breath and tried her best. “I’ve been thinking about uh, our friendship and about you, like, over the past little while.”</p><p>Manila looked confused, but motioned for her to continue.</p><p>“I really like you.” There, Raja had said it, but the words kept tumbling out. “You’re pretty and hilarious and smart and you actually look after yourself, which is like, responsible and kinda hot. And we already know we get along, so maybe it’s a good place to, uh, start dating… in a low-key kind of way?” </p><p>Manila still looked confused, even borderline distressed, like she was trying to wrestle a very difficult philosophical concept. Raja realized that she hadn’t been very clear.</p><p>“I guess what I’m <i>trying</i> to say is, uh,” finished Raja, biting her lip and laughing awkwardly again, “Do you wanna make out?”</p><p>Manila’s face was on an emotional journey, which Raja watched with a combination of amusement and nervous anticipation. Maybe Manila would make fun of her for this too, and she’d just have to live with it. Maybe it didn’t matter how Raja felt, it would remain a joke forever. Or maybe, just maybe, Manila would feel the same way… </p><p>“Uh,” said Manila, nodding to herself. Her eyes were wide with surprise and disbelief, and she didn’t even tease Raja for being a total dweeb, which Raja had expected. “I mean…”</p><p>Raja waited, trying not to fidget and totally failing.</p><p>“Yeah,” said Manila, with a heavy, relieved exhale, “Yeah, I think that could be really great.”</p><p>A big smile stole over Manila’s face and she straightened up from where she was leaning on the railing and shuffled closer to Raja. Raja stepped forward too, her heart beating fast. She was so happy, so relieved, now that she’d admitted her feelings and Manila seemed to return them, she wanted nothing more than to make out with her, finally. </p><p>They leaned towards each other, excited and cautious. Manila touched Raja’s shirt, running her finger over the buttons. They were very close together. Raja could smell the alcohol on her breath and that lavender conditioner as Manila leaned in closer, tilting her head up to meet her, their lips just about to touch-</p><p>But at the last second Raja couldn’t resist the urge to mess with Manila, as she had with her before.</p><p>“Mmm, you know what?” said Raja, pulling back and flipping her hair over her shoulder, joking, “You missed your chance, I’m not interested anymore.”</p><p>Raja grinned. But instead of smiling back and maybe smacking her arm in mock-offence, genuine betrayal and disappointment crossed over Manila’s face. She stepped back, gave Raja an awful, disgusted look, turned on her heel and she stomped off the deck and back into the house.</p><p>Raja’s stomach dropped right out her body and through the deck, through the grass and the dirt and the crust of the earth right into the magma underneath. </p><p>Oh <i>shit.</i></p><p>-</p><p>Manila had known, <i>she’d just known,</i> that it was too good to be true. </p><p>And of course, she was right. It was entirely bullshit. Raja was just messing with her but it had gone to too far and it wasn’t funny anymore! Before, when it had just been silly, casual offers to make out it was fine, but Raja lying about having real feelings was cruel. Manila breathed in deeply and pressed back tears.</p><p>Manila stalked through the party in to the crowded living room, where there was a folding table covered in bottles of alcohol and mix. Manila took a random half-empty bottle of Absolut™ vodka and put it to her lips, gulping back as much as she could. It stung her throat. Manila should never, ever have let herself admit that she cared, let herself be vulnerable-</p><p>“Hey,” said a voice next to her, “That’s my vodka.”</p><p>Manila lowered the bottle, which was significantly emptier, and saw Raven with a frown on her face, her blunt bangs just brushing her neat eyebrows.</p><p>“Sorry,” muttered Manila and put the bottle back down on the table. </p><p>But Raven just took it and poured two hefty shots into two conveniently located shot glasses, and offered Manila one. Fuck it. Manila took the shot glass. With a smirk, Raven raised her glass and Manila clinked them together, then slammed it back. Manila eyed Raven as she lowered the glass, her stomach twisting against the sudden onslaught of alcohol. Raven wasn’t really her type but she was attractive enough, and the betrayal and anger rolling around in Manila’s body needed to go somewhere-</p><p>“Let me guess,” said Raven, with a knowing smile, “You were talking to Raja, right? She has a tendency to break hearts.”</p><p>Manila nodded bitterly, trying to put the glass down on the table, and momentarily lost her balance. Raven grabbed her arm and steadied her, letting out a low, amused chuckle.</p><p>“Do you wanna make out?” asked Manila impulsively, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.</p><p>Raven blinked with surprise, and laughed, “Sure? I always thought you were cute-“</p><p>“Great,” interrupted Manila, stumbling in to Raven and wrapping her arms around her neck. The kiss was sudden and sloppy, the taste of vodka mingling on their mouths.</p><p>-</p><p>Raja stood all alone on the deck. She’d fucked up. </p><p>Raja hadn’t been thinking, she’d rashly assumed the joke would be harmless, and that Manila could take it. Manila had done practically the same thing to her a few weeks ago…</p><p>But maybe it wasn’t quite the same, because that time Raja had just been offering to casually make out, not like… actually attempting to express her feelings and propose that they try to date or whatever. Hmm.</p><p>Spurred by her own foolishness and the sudden fear that Manila would never talk to her again, Raja walked quickly off the deck. She re-entered the party, and scanned the kitchen. The plate of brownies was picked over and the music was loud and it was even more crowded than before. But Manila wasn’t in there, and Raja looked round for Delta or Carmen to ask for help. Carmen was nowhere to be seen, and Delta was in the corner, flirting with some guy.</p><p>Raja would have to deal with this herself.</p><p>Raja moved through the crowd of people towards the living room. She passed Shangela, Morgan and some guys and then entered the crowded room. Raja craned her neck to see over the crowd, and froze.</p><p>Manila was by a table covered in bottles, locked in an embrace with Raven <i>of all people!</i></p><p>They were by the edge of the crowd, their bodies flush together, Manila’s arms around Raven’s neck, and Raven’s hands on her waist… betrayal and hurt flooded through Raja’s veins. </p><p>“Hey!” exclaimed Raja, hurrying across the room, “What the hell, Manila?! You can’t just make out with my ex!”</p><p>Raven and Manila broke away from each other, and both glared at her. Raven’s stupid red lipstick was smeared across Manila’s lips, staining the perfect corner of her mouth.</p><p>“I can do what I want!” objected Manila, slurring her words and turning back to Raven, trying to kiss her again, but Raven was still glaring at Raja, her expression annoyed.</p><p>“I told you <i>like four times</i> you’re not invited to parties here anymore!” snapped Raven.</p><p>“You know I don’t read your texts,” retorted Raja, trying to get Manila to make eye contact with her as Manila pawed at Raven, trying to pull her back in, “Manila, come on-”</p><p>“You’re such a bitch,” said Raven, rolling her eyes and batting Manila away from her. “Back off Manila, I don’t want to be involved with whatever this is-”</p><p>“Don’t go-” managed Manila, trying to hang on to Raven, but Raven slid out of her grip and quickly escaped across the crowded living room into the hallway. </p><p>Raja and Manila stared at each other. </p><p>“Look, I didn’t mean it-” began Raja.</p><p>“Whatever,” interrupted Manila, shaky, trying to push past her and follow Raven, “I know you didn’t mean it, <i>obviously.</i>”</p><p>“No,” said Raja, shifting in front of her, and trying to get her words out properly, “I meant the first part, the part where I said I like you. But not the part where I said, uh, that I didn’t. Like you.”</p><p>Even Raja could tell that was basically incoherent. Manila tilted her head to the side and her mouth fell open in annoyed confusion. Raja didn’t know what to say, the hurt and regret swirled inside her. But she desperately wanted Manila to understand that what she meant was, well… not <i>serious,</i> exactly. But important, significant. She should’ve had some weed to take the edge off.</p><p>“Wait, what-” began Manila, reaching out to steady herself on the table.</p><p>“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” asked Raja, noting that Manila seemed significantly drunker then she’d been a few minutes ago. “Also, are you okay?”</p><p>“I had some vodka,” muttered Manila, and then nodded, “Yeah, let’s uh, go outside.”</p><p>“Right,” said Raja, and let Manila lead her unsteadily through the room and down the front steps.</p><p>Outside, Manila started walking down the familiar sidewalk in the direction of where they both lived. The noise of the party faded behind them. Raja walked next to her, trying to gather her words again. </p><p>“I’m sorry I made fun of you at the Halloween party just ‘cause you wanted to make out,” apologized Manila, in a small, tight voice, “But I- I just couldn’t deal with it. I <i>can’t deal with you,</i> you make me feel like I’m going insane.”</p><p>“Well… yeah it kind of hurt, but it’s okay,” said Raja, trying to make sense of the second part of what Manila had said, and figure out what to say next. Manila sighed deeply, her expression scrunched up, sad and frustrated, power-walking with unsteady determination down the street. Raja had to hurry to keep up.</p><p>“But like I said, uh,” continued Raja, unsure as to why they were practically sprinting, “You’re my friend and I care about you. I don’t want to make you feel like you’re insane or whatever-“</p><p>Their hands brushed together. Raja caught her fingers with Manila’s and held her hand, her grip gentle, hoping that maybe this would show how she felt better than words could. </p><p>A single tear dripped down Manila’s face, but she kept walking, squeezing Raja’s hand in return.</p><p>After a minute or two, Manila stopped abruptly and Raja jerked to halt a couple steps past her, their arms stretched out between them. </p><p>“Uh-” said Manila, and paled, her eyes widening.</p><p>She turned and threw up in the neighbour’s yard. </p><p>Raja rushed over and held her hair back while Manila puked up vodka-tainted bile into a giant hosta plant that Raja recognized as the one Manila had pushed her into a week or two ago. Manila groaned pathetically and straightened back up. </p><p>“Are we near my house?” whined Manila, spitting on the ground and wiping her mouth.</p><p>“Yeah,” replied Raja, suppressing her laugh and pointing barely fifteen feet away, “You live right here.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>With that, they walked the few steps down the sidewalk and up the stairs to Manila’s house. Manila unlocked the door and flicked the light on, kicking off her shoes. Raja snuck past her and made for the kitchen, pouring two glasses of water. Admittedly one of them was in a mason jar, because the dishes situation seemed a bit out of control. Manila followed her through and they both sat down at the kitchen table.</p><p>Raja handed Manila the water and Manila sipped it. She looked haggard and sad, her lower lip pouting more than normal. Raja reflected in the silence, thinking over what had happened and wondering if they’d ever manage to get involved at this rate. Maybe by graduation. Manila stood up from the table and got some saltines from the cupboard and they ate them, and drank more water. Then Manila stood up again, and paused awkwardly in front of Raja.</p><p>“I need to go to bed,” said Manila, biting her lip and not quite making eye contact.</p><p>“But I wanna make out,” whined Raja with a joking smile, before realizing with hot embarrassment that it was beyond stupid to make <i>yet another joke about it-</i></p><p>“With my vomit breath?” replied Manila dryly.</p><p>Raja laughed, and so did Manila, dimples appearing in her cheeks. Raja stood, relieved, and they surveyed one another awkwardly. Raja darted forward and hugged Manila, pulling her in close for a moment and breathing in the smell of her hair. Manila seemed surprised but hugged her in return. </p><p>Raja stepped back and said, “Let’s talk tomorrow?”</p><p>Manila nodded, crossing her arms and looking tired and pathetic in lousy yellowish light of her kitchen. Her hair was everywhere, her eyes were puffy, and Raven’s red lipstick still stained the side of her mouth. </p><p>Well, thought Raja mildly to herself as she left, this is the woman I’ve chosen to love.</p><p>Love. Hmm.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It’s not just the weed this time, Raja’s in love, and Manila’s about to make a confession.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is one long-ass chapter of fluff, feelings and porn lmao! thanks to everyone who's left comments, you all are so lovely and encouraging &lt;3 and thanks to V&amp;albatross for the good vibes on this little side story :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Manila stood in her steamy bathroom leaning against the edge of the sink, with a towel wrapped around her body, and stared at herself in the mirror.</p>
<p>Last night had been… a lot.</p>
<p>She’d just gotten out of the shower, and there were dark circles under her eyes from the late night, the stress and the hangover. The hangover wasn’t as bad as Manila thought she deserved. Chugging straight vodka from the bottle in a state of emotional turmoil had been a terrible idea.</p>
<p>However, a part of herself that she’d been suppressing for too long was raising its head, this time with hope. Parsing out what Raja had been trying to say last night had practically required a cryptographer, but Manila was like eighty-seven percent sure that Raja had said she liked her, and was interested in… maybe dating. Or something. It all got a little blurry after she’d kissed Raven.</p>
<p>Manila stuck her tongue out at herself in the mirror and left the bathroom, walking quickly down the hall in her towel to her room to get dressed. She examined one of her nicer shirts, and that corduroy mini-skirt she liked, and then decided not to get her hopes up. She pulled on a pair of dark blue sweatpants with the college’s name written across the butt. But her hand lingered over her one of her nice bras, an elegant black one with red lining, and after a brief but eventful internal wrestling match, she put it on. And covered it with a T-shirt and a hoodie.</p>
<p>After having breakfast, drying her hair, scrolling through her phone, cleaning the bathroom, killing time and receiving no texts from Raja, but not sending any either, Manila put her hands on her hips and sighed. </p>
<p>Manila had two choices. She could go across the street and <i>actually talk to Raja about her feelings,</i> or she could drop out of college, move to Canada, change her identity, burn her fingerprints off with acid and start again as an entirely new person.</p>
<p>Despite the strong temptation of option two, Manila chose option one and rushed out the door before she could psych herself out. She hurried up to to the familiar house across the street and a few doors down. Manila took a nervous breath as she knocked on Raja’s front door, immediately regretting that she hadn’t texted or something before just showing up. Maybe Raja wasn’t awake yet, or maybe she didn’t want to see her after she’d been so messy last night-</p>
<p>The door opened and Raja stood there. Her long black hair was wet and brushed straight like she’d just showered, and her loose, green linen shirt was damp where the ends sat on her shoulders. She looked suspiciously fresh and clean for the day after a party, but then Manila remembered that Raja had been sober the entire time. </p>
<p>“Hey,” said Raja, with a goofy, knowing smile.</p>
<p>Manila’s palms began to sweat, and her heart leapt out of her chest and prostrated itself on the floor.</p>
<p>“Uh- hi,” said Manila.</p>
<p>Raja stepped aside and Manila walked in to the living room, slipping off her shoes and glancing at the familiar couch. An empty bag of chips and a couple loose video game controllers sat abandoned on it. Usually she’d go right in and sit down, but that didn’t quite feel right today. Carmen’s voice drifted over from the kitchen, one half of a conversation she was having over the phone.</p>
<p>“We could talk in my room?” suggested Raja, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. Her deep brown eyes were without expectation.</p>
<p>“Sure,” said Manila decisively, and walked quickly to the stairs and up to Raja’s bedroom, the first door on the left. </p>
<p>Raja’s room always surprised Manila. The first time she’d seen it she’d expected a total stoner disaster zone, but instead it was surprisingly neat. There was a beautiful piece of blue and gold paisley fabric tacked up on the wall, some clothes piled up on the back of the chair, and several mugs on the nightstand. Books, her laptop and some weed paraphernalia were scattered on the desk, but the floor was clean and the bed was pretty much always made.</p>
<p>Manila sat down on the edge of the bed, and wiped her sweaty palms on her pants. Raja sat down next to her, close but not touching. </p>
<p>“So…” began Manila, drawing out the word and wondering what exactly she was going to say. She didn’t want to be the first to admit her feelings. Part of her still felt afraid, instinctively evasive when talking about how she felt. “You like me, apparently.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” laughed Raja, amused, flipping her damp hair over her shoulder, “Yeah, I said that.”</p>
<p>“Mm,” acknowledged Manila, already a little flustered by how Raja had just openly admitted it, like it was that easy. Everything was so easy for her. “Are you mad at me for kissing Raven?”</p>
<p>“For like a minute last night, but uh, it seemed more like you were mad at <i>me,</i> actually.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I was kind of upset-” said Manila, and hesitated. Talking openly like this was outside of her comfort zone and she felt too warm and too awkward and… she would rather all of this be a big joke, to laugh it off again and hide how she really felt behind the humour.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry I decided to make that joke about you missing your opportunity when I was trying to be all serious or whatever,” said Raja quickly, all in one breath, “That was really stupid. I really did mean everything I said, except for that part.”</p>
<p>Manila nodded, the hurt rolling back over her for a moment. The feeling of rejection had been awful. But maybe that was how Raja had felt the first couple of times Manila had rejected and mocked her for expressing interest.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” said Manila, cracking a smile, “You are incredibly stupid after all.”</p>
<p>“But I’m still getting better grades than you,” replied Raja, raising her eyebrows and grinning.</p>
<p>Manila looked at her hands. Raja was next to her, but she felt simultaneously closer and farther than she’d ever been. They were steering out of familiar territory towards something Manila both hopelessly longed for and horribly feared. </p>
<p>“I didn’t do anything with Yara, by the way,” confessed Manila, the words spilling out of her mouth before she could stop them. </p>
<p>“What, really?” replied Raja, cocking her head to the side.</p>
<p>“Yeah I lied about that, she and Alexis love each other so much it’s gross,” said Manila, rolling her eyes. “I thought you’d been acting differently around me, so I… said that.”</p>
<p>“They do seem to love each other a lot,” confirmed Raja, nodding, a sneaky grin growing on her mouth, “You wanted to see if I got jealous?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“I don’t believe in jealousy,” sniffed Raja imperiously, “Love should be free.”</p>
<p>“You’re such a fucking hippie,” said Manila, shaking her head, amused, “And you were jealous, you were stomping around like a six-year-old having a temper tantrum.”</p>
<p>“Fine, maybe a little,” acquiesced Raja, with a laugh. “You were really winding me up, though!”</p>
<p>Manila laughed as well, following the shift of energy between them into lighter territory. She twisted her fingers in the sheets on Raja’s bed for a moment, and sat up straighter, looking at Raja carefully. Raja’s green linen shirt draped elegantly over her tall, angular frame and it suited her nicely, despite the damp shoulders from her hair. A curl of interest announced itself in Manila’s core.</p>
<p>“So, uh,” said Manila, regretting her decision to wear sweats and wishing she’d at least tried to look nice. Raja’s expression was open, but her shoulders were a little stiff, almost nervous. Manila wanted to ease the tension, she wanted Raja to be comfortable around her again, and get rid of this stupid distance she’d built up between them.</p>
<p>Manila decided she was going to be brave, and asked, “Do you still wanna make out?”</p>
<p>Raja blinked in shock and then grinned and gave a happy little shrug, and said, “Yeah, totally.”</p>
<p>Before Manila could stop herself, before she could let herself <i>think,</i> she leaned in. Raja did the same, and shifted closer to her on the bed, pressing their legs together. Manila hesitated for a moment, the tension between them burning hot, more intense and awful than it had ever been, before Raja brushed her lips over Manila’s and they captured one another in a soft kiss. A high-voltage thrill shot down Manila’s spine, turning to instant, uncontrollable heat between her legs.</p>
<p>Raja’s confidence was contagious, and Manila kissed her back, tentatively parting her lips and tasting Raja with her tongue. Raja touched Manila’s waist, her other hand going to the back of her neck and tangling up in her hair. Manila’s body was taking over completely, the thrill drowning out her every doubt.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Raja was very pleased with how the morning had progressed so far, as Manila broke their kiss to push her down on the bed, a look of pure, unadulterated desire in her eyes.</p>
<p>“Oh, hello,” purred Raja as Manila straddled her, and Raja shifted a little so that she was at a better angle, her head propped up on her pillow. Manila lifted her hoodie up over her head, and the plain T-shirt undershirt underneath hiked up so that Raja caught a glimpse of her toned stomach before Manila threw the hoodie to the floor. Raja’s breath quickened, and she fumbled at the buttons of her shirt. She was so happy that this was finally happening, that Manila wasn’t angry with her and seemed <i>quite</i> interested in being more than just friends. There were so many fun directions this could go-</p>
<p>“Hi,” breathed Manila, leaning forward and quashing Raja’s efforts to get her shirt unbuttoned. Manila kissed her again, this time taking charge in a way that Raja found very sexy indeed. Raja caressed her waist through the thin fabric of her shirt. Manila stroked Raja’s still-damp hair, her hands exploring Raja’s scalp as they made out <i>thoroughly.</i> The smell of Manila’s lavender conditioner filled Raja’s nose.</p>
<p>Manila ducked her head, going for Raja’s neck. Raja sighed, gasping when Manila introduced her teeth to her skin. Oh, this was excellent, this was lovely. Manila was so much more than Raja had expected, and pleasant excitement filled her mind. Raja’s hands drifted from Manila’s waist down her back to grip her beautiful, muscular, college-logo-emblazoned ass. </p>
<p>Fuck yes. </p>
<p>Manila laughed quietly into her neck, pausing for a breath, and rolled her hips against Raja. Raja pushed her thigh up a little to give Manila something to grind on, if she wanted to. Even the hint that Manila was truly letting her guard down and trusting Raja like this was <i>very exciting-</i></p>
<p>Manila breathed in sharply, her face still pressed into Raja’s neck, and rolled her hips again, and Raja felt Manila’s warm body through her thick cotton sweatpants. Raja took her opportunity and lifted her head slightly, kissing Manila’s neck in return, still gripping her ass and encouraging her to grind against her thigh. </p>
<p>“Raja-” breathed Manila as Raja kissed what must be a sweet spot. Raja couldn’t wait to learn all her sweet spots.</p>
<p>Manila sat back, pulling Raja with her so they were both sitting up, Manila still straddling her lap.</p>
<p>“Can I…?” murmured Manila, touching the buttons on Raja’s shirt.</p>
<p>“Yeah, for sure.”</p>
<p>Manila fumbled to undo Raja’s shirt buttons and Raja kissed her neck again. Now that they were sitting up, Raja touched Manila’s lower back and guided her to keep grinding on her thigh, since they were in an excellent position for her to do so. Manila bit back a little moan, visibly distracted from her task and it sent a tingle throughout Raja’s entire body. Manila was getting so hot and bothered already, and they were still practically fully clothed.</p>
<p>In fact, Manila’s hips were moving quicker now, rocking against Raja’s thigh, but she finished with the buttons and pushed Raja’s shirt back down to her elbows, then blinked with surprise.</p>
<p>Raja wasn’t one to wear a bra unless it was absolutely required of her. </p>
<p>“You can touch me,” whispered Raja, kissing Manila’s ear.</p>
<p>Manila did, gently palming Raja’s small breasts, and continuing to roll her hips. Now Raja could really feel the heat between Manila’s legs and let out a surprised half-moan herself as Manila caught her nipple between her fingers. Manila’s expression was hazy with lust, as she bit her lip and rutted down even harder, and Raja was almost surprised that Manila was so turned on by this minimal amount of contact.</p>
<p>“Is it okay if I-” said Raja, and touched the front edge of Manila’s sweatpants. </p>
<p>Manila nodded semi-frantically, and Raja went for it, reaching past her waistband to feel how gloriously warm and wet she was, even through her underwear. Manila moaned aloud, and ground down against Raja’s fingers and Raja, absolutely thrilled, slid her fingers inside her underwear. </p>
<p>Manila inhaled sharply at the skin-to-skin contact, rolling her hips hard and fast and clutching Raja to her. Raja decided to go for more, gently slipping two fingers past her folds and up into her soaking wet pussy-</p>
<p>“Oh my god, <i>fuck-</i>” managed Manila.</p>
<p>Manila’s back arched and her hip thrusts became erratic, quick, and she let out another barely suppressed moan, burying her face in Raja’s neck, panting hot breath against her skin, clenching around Raja’s fingers with a sudden gasp-</p>
<p>Suddenly Manila stopped moving, she pushed herself back. She flopped backwards off of Raja’s lap onto her ass and covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide, her expression utterly surprised and embarrassed. </p>
<p>Raja realized what had happened. </p>
<p>“You are <i>so</i> into me,” stated Raja, unable to resist the urge to tease Manila for it, wiping her fingers unceremoniously on her sheets and laughing. “You came from just that? Really?”</p>
<p>“Don’t,” whined Manila, covering her face with both hands and curling up into a ball.</p>
<p>“We’ve barely been going for five minutes-”</p>
<p>“It’s just been a while for me,” complained Manila, her voice muffled behind her hands, “I’m sorry…”</p>
<p>Raja crawled over to her, taking her hands away from her face and kissing her.</p>
<p>“No need to apologize, you’ve got more where that came from, right?” asked Raja with a grin. The dull ache of Raja’s own arousal was still present between her legs.</p>
<p>“Yeah…”</p>
<p>“Great, hopefully this time I’ll get to actually take your clothes off.”</p>
<p>“Only if you ask nicely,” replied Manila dryly, sitting up. She looked slightly less embarrassed, pushing a few stray curls back out of her face.</p>
<p>Raja kissed Manila’s face again, unable to stop herself from smiling, smug. It seemed like Manila did actually like her, or was at least very, very attracted to her. Raja appreciated the vindication, and imagined the afternoon ahead. It looked like they’d be spending it here, making out and having sex, and taking a few breaks for food and weed, and that seemed <i>most excellent.</i></p>
<p>“What do you want to do?” asked Manila. She reached out and hesitated, before running her fingers across Raja’s collarbone and then down her arm. Raja vaguely remembered her shirt, which was mostly off, open with the sleeves caught around her elbows. She took it off entirely. Raja was comfortable with her body and didn’t mind being naked, especially when it was making Manila so distracted.</p>
<p>“I want to…” began Raja, before shrugging, “Actually, I just want to roll a joint and share it with you, if you’re into that, and then eat you out for like forty-five minutes.”</p>
<p>Manila laughed and rolled her eyes, “Yeah, let’s get a little high, it won’t hurt.”</p>
<p>“It might even help you last longer…” teased Raja gently, not that she really cared. If Manila got off so quickly and easily, then Raja would gladly spend the entire day making her come over and over <i>and over-</i></p>
<p>“Stop!” protested Manila, but she couldn’t help her smile.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Manila was so embarrassed that she’d pretty much finished immediately from the barest of contact like a <i>desperate, touch-deprived lunatic,</i> but luckily the feeling was fading. Raja didn’t seem to mind, despite her gentle teasing.</p>
<p>Manila had surprised herself more than anything. She was usually a bit… well, <i>stiff</i> maybe wasn’t the right word, but during hookups or sexual encounters she wanted to make sure she came off as <i>sexy and fun,</i> and that she did everything <i>right.</i> This was always particularly strong in her mind when she was with guys. But what was <i>right</i> was a vague and every-changing notion, a bit of a performance, kind of acting like girls did in porn except more chill, and trying to read what the other person liked and expected of her. It was difficult to relax. Certain walls always remained up.</p>
<p>But not today.</p>
<p>Today, Manila had completely melted the second her lips had touched Raja’s. Her body had taken over, unmitigated. Tasting Raja’s neck, grinding on her thigh, touching her skin and feeling her hard nipples, and Raja slipping her knowing fingers inside of her had made Manila feel so <i>alive-</i></p>
<p>Maybe this was what it was supposed to feel like.</p>
<p>They had the entire afternoon ahead of them, so Manila lounged on Raja’s bed in her sweatpants while Raja got out a jar of weed and a grinder, confident and relaxed and wonderfully topless.</p>
<p>“Ugh, I left my rolling papers in the living room again,” sighed Raja, leaning over to give Manila a lingering kiss that sent a thrill right down her spine again, “I’ll be back.”</p>
<p>With that Raja got up and strolled across the room, opening her door-</p>
<p>“Don’t you need a shirt?” asked Manila.</p>
<p>“Nope.”</p>
<p>Manila laughed as Raja left and padded down the stairs. Her voice drifted up from the living room. </p>
<p>“Hey Delta.”</p>
<p>“Hey. So it’s a tits out kind of day?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, have you seen my rolling papers?”</p>
<p>“Over there.”</p>
<p>“Thanks! Did you hook up with that guy last night?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, and he was surprisingly good in bed-”</p>
<p>Manila tuned out the conversation, remembering her nice bra and wondering if she should just take her clothes off now and maybe fix her hair and find some way to recline on the bed so she’d look hot when Raja came back up-</p>
<p>But then Manila realized Raja didn’t care about that, and that really, she didn’t either. Manila lay back down on her side, breathing in the smell of Raja’s pillow. It smelled just like her hair, and honestly, Manila would be totally happy just to exist right here in this moment and never leave it. The voice in the back of her head chimed in, <i>you know you still haven’t told her how you really feel-</i></p>
<p>“-yeah, she’s up in my room, I think we’re figuring it out.”</p>
<p>“<i>Oh thank god!</i> You’ve been stressing about that for ages. So that’s why you don’t have a shirt on…”</p>
<p>“Yeah, we might get kinda loud, so… sorry in advance.”</p>
<p>There was a smug evil to Raja’s voice, and Manila couldn’t help but feel smug as well. She imagined what exactly she could do to make Raja get <i>loud…</i></p>
<p>“I was planning to go to the library anyway, bitch, I’ll send the bat signal to Carmen.”</p>
<p>Manila smirked at Delta’s sarcasm.</p>
<p>“Love you too!” sang Raja in response, and then Manila heard Raja’s footsteps on the stairs again. Her heart beat faster in anticipation. She should probably tell Raja about her stupid feelings. Raja had confessed her own, and while it was all still a bit vague, things were changing between them. Hopefully for the better.</p>
<p>Raja reentered the room, and flopped down on the bed next to Manila. Manila sat up and watched as Raja put a few weed buds into her little grinder and ground them up. Then she balanced a rolling paper in her palm, and carefully tipped the weed into it. Raja’s tongue darted out and wet the paper before rolling it into a cylinder, and something stirred in Manila’s core while she watched. Raja still wasn’t wearing a shirt, and Manila couldn’t help her eyes lingering. Of course this too was easy for Raja, she didn’t seem self-conscious about her body at all. Manila was always a bit in awe of Raja’s effortless confidence.</p>
<p>The joint was ready before Manila knew it, because when it came to weed Raja was nothing if not efficient. The sun outside broke through the clouds and streamed in through the thin curtains on Raja’s window, hitting the side of her face, and she was so beautiful that Manila’s breath hitched with disbelief. Raja brought the fresh joint to her mouth, grabbed a lighter from her bedside table and lit up, breathing in deeply with a contented sigh. </p>
<p>Raja passed Manila the joint with a suggestive smile, and Manila took it, putting the filter between her lips and drawing in a deep breath, the gentle smoke seeping deep into her lungs.</p>
<p>“I-” said Manila, passing back the joint and coughing, “I should probably tell you something.”</p>
<p>“Mmm, what?” replied Raja, taking another hit and leaning in, nuzzling Manila’s neck.</p>
<p>“Uh,” continued Manila, now very distracted by the feeling of Raja’s luxurious lips on her warm skin, the slightly smoky air and the joint that was now in her hands again. Did she even <i>want</i> to tell Raja she’d been idiotically in love with her for like two years? Would it ruin everything?</p>
<p>Manila took another pull and blew the smoke out into the air, while Raja kissed her neck and snuck her hand into her shirt, tracing her waist with delicate fingertips.</p>
<p>“I’ve actually,” whispered Manila, noticing with interest the way Raja had pressed herself into her side, her nipples getting pointy again, “I’ve actually been into you for a while.”</p>
<p>“Really?” purred Raja, without stopping what she was doing. It felt really good. Manila passed her the joint and Raja took it, turning away from her neck only momentarily to inhale the sweet smoke.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” said Manila quietly, desperately wanting to make it all a joke, somehow, worried her confession would completely freak Raja out. But maybe it wouldn’t. “I’ve kind of had a crush on you like since we met.”</p>
<p>Raja pulled back from Manila’s neck. But instead of laughing at her, or looking awkward and pushing her away, Raja’s expression was open and curious.</p>
<p>“No way,” said Raja, cocking her head to the side, “Even that time I got those fireworks from my dealer, and we accidentally lit that tree on fire?”</p>
<p>“Yeah?” replied Manila, confused. “I mean, Delta was the only one with the wherewithal to call 911, but we survived.”</p>
<p>“Even that time I spilled coffee all over your good white shirt?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” said Manila, flatly, recalling the incident. The shirt had never recovered. And the burn had hurt.</p>
<p>“Okay, but what about when I was too high in the grocery store a few weeks ago-“</p>
<p>“All of the times, Raja!” exclaimed Manila impatiently, practically squirming with the discomfort of having confessed her feelings, “Every dumb thing you did, I still liked you. So I, I don’t know, maybe that makes me the stupid one.”</p>
<p>“Nah, you’re like the smartest person I know, other than me,” chuckled Raja affectionately, taking another drag on the joint and exhaling the smoke slowly, so that it drifted up around her face, ethereal, “I’m learning so many cool new things about you today.”</p>
<p>“Well,” sputtered Manila, defensive and insecure, “I don’t know if it’s cool-“</p>
<p>“It totally is,” continued Raja, utterly confident, “Why didn’t you say anything before?”</p>
<p>“Because, you know,” shrugged Manila, taking the offered joint and hoping it would calm her down a little, “You obviously prefer casual hookups or whatever, and I couldn’t really stand being <i>just that</i> to you- I just didn’t want to have to say it was <i>totally fine and chill</i> if you didn’t like me back-” Manila paused with horrendous panic, “I mean, you do feel the same way, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I-” said Raja, her face suddenly shifting into to an expression that normally appeared when she was trying really hard to beat Manila at Super Smash Bros, “Wait, so you thought I’d think you were too intense or something?”</p>
<p>Manila passed her the joint and looked away, already knowing that she was too intense, that her feelings were nothing other than a <i>humiliating mess</i> and always would be. Well, she thought wistfully, it had been nice while it lasted… </p>
<p>“Manila,” sighed Raja, and Manila looked back at her and Raja was smiling, and blowing smoke into her face, “I can’t predict like the <i>entire future,</i> you know with the Mars colonies and stuff, but I really like you. Maybe you like me a little more than I realized, but that’s good because I thought you weren’t into me <i>at all.</i> So like, it’s cool. Let’s just see where it goes?”</p>
<p>Manila nodded, as her heart beat faster and she felt herself blush. She supposed she’d just have to trust Raja, and herself.</p>
<p>“But you really fucked up with Raven when you two were dating,” stated Manila, unable to stop her doubts from surfacing. </p>
<p>“Well… ” said Raja, hesitating, and then she sighed, “Yeah, I did. The whole relationship thing was her idea and I went along with it because, well, I wanted things to be easy… but I should’ve found a better way to end it.” Raja paused, and took Manila’s hand, weaving their fingers together and squeezing, “I feel super differently about you, and about this. We’re friends <i>first,</i> right, before anything else.”</p>
<p>“Okay, yeah,” murmured Manila, plucking the joint, which wasn’t much more than a tiny roach, from Raja’s fingers and inhaling deeply, burning it right down to the filter. It seemed like Raja was genuinely on the path to some kind of self-awareness. </p>
<p>Manila reached around Raja to stub the end of the joint out in the decorative glass ashtray, and then let the smoke out through her nose with a giggle. Raja laughed along, and Manila finally began to feel the relaxed buzz under her skin. Getting high was nice, no wonder Raja did it all the time… Manila leaned in and kissed her again. Raja kissed her back, her hands going immediately to her waist again, pushing up under her shirt to touch her skin. Manila stroked Raja’s hair, and delicately held the back of her neck. Raja was already topless, but Manila was getting very interested in taking Raja’s shorts off as well…</p>
<p>They just had to trust one another, figured Manila, and maybe everything would be turn out alright.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Raja was happy and relaxed now that she’d had some weed and they were making out again. Manila had seemed stressed when she’d admitted her years-long crush, and while Raja was certainly a little surprised, more than anything she was pleased that her instincts had been right. It was making the strange new feeling in her chest glow a little brighter. But maybe that was just the weed.</p>
<p>“I want to take your shirt off,” murmured Raja. She’d seen Manila out running in her sports bra enough times to be real curious about what was underneath… </p>
<p>“Yeah, go ahead,” said Manila, moving her hand from the back of Raja’s neck down to her chest, running her thumb over her nipple in a way that sent a jolt of interest directly between Raja’s legs. She tugged Manila’s shirt up, and Manila lifted her arms and was momentarily caught with her shirt under her chin and around her elbows and Raja laughed at her and eventually they got it off. </p>
<p>Damn. Manila looked good, cute and toned and was wearing a suspiciously nice bra…</p>
<p>“You knew this was going to happen today, didn’t you?” said Raja.</p>
<p>“I might have suspected something,” said Manila with a smirk, sitting back on her butt as she easily tugged her sweatpants off of her legs.</p>
<p>“You’re so sneaky.”</p>
<p>“It’s my tragic flaw.”</p>
<p>Now that Manila was just in her underwear, the animal part of Raja’s brain kicked in. In an instant, Raja wanted to kiss Manila’s entire body, fuck her thoroughly, cuddle all night, move in and have a baby together, raise a bunch of feral kids and dogs, run a full-scale weed grow-op out in the country somewhere and just chill in the glorious California sunset until the end of time. Hmm. Raja decided that odd little fantasy was <i>definitely</i> just the weed talking, and took off her shorts and throwing them over the side of the bed, revealing her plain blue cotton underwear.</p>
<p>Now, that they were both pleasantly stoned and significantly more naked, things were starting to get interesting. Raja scooted closer to Manila, and ran her hands up her legs, letting out a weird gremlin-like giggle. </p>
<p>“You so don’t get to accuse me of being the horny one anymore,” chuckled Manila, taking Raja’s face in her hands and kissing her.</p>
<p>Raja sat back and pulled Manila into her lap, taking her time to kiss her. They explored one another, gentle and stoned. Raja stroked her way up Manila’s smooth back, her fingertips extra sensitive, and felt the band of her bra, reaching to undo it. </p>
<p>“Wait, don’t,” said Manila, and Raja’s hands stilled. Was something wrong? But Manila hadn’t pulled back, in fact she was pressing little kisses on Raja’s face, and kissed the shell of her ear in a way that sent a shiver throughout Raja’s entire body.</p>
<p>Raja dropped her hands to Manila’s hips and had a brilliant idea. </p>
<p>“Turn around,” suggested Raja into Manila’s ear. </p>
<p>“Mm, why?” replied Manila, shifting to kiss Raja’s neck.</p>
<p>“Because it’ll be fun…”</p>
<p>Manila laughed at her reasoning, and turned around so that she was sitting in Raja’s lap with her back to her. Raja immediately hugged Manila close, pressing her naked chest into her back and taking the opportunity to nip at her neck, eliciting a little yelp.</p>
<p>Raja ran her hand up Manila’s stomach touch her chest through her bra. Manila ’s breath hitched in response, and Raja took that as a positive sign, and reached up to ease her bra-straps off her shoulders.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to take my bra off,” stated Manila and Raja stopped again, trying to hide her disappointment. </p>
<p>“Do you not like being touched there?” asked Raja, momentarily nervous that she’d overstepped an invisible boundary, as Manila twisted in her lap to make eye contact.</p>
<p>“No, I like it, but,” said Manila, and hesitated. </p>
<p>“But?” asked Raja, in what she hoped was a gentle way, planting a little kiss on Manila’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“I just don’t like people looking at my tits.”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>Manila hunched a little, looking uncomfortable, and said, “Uh, this girl in middle school used to tell me they were a weird shape and I’ve kind of never gotten over it.”</p>
<p>Raja glanced down at Manila’s chest. Her breasts were contained in what was a truly nice bra and Raja found nothing weird about her body whatsoever.</p>
<p>“Well, fuck that bitch, she can die,” said Raja, in full seriousness. </p>
<p>Manila burst into laughter, “What, you’re gonna murder some girl from my seventh-grade gym class?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, what’s her name?”</p>
<p>“Jenny.”</p>
<p>“She sounds basic, I’ll shove her into traffic.”</p>
<p>“That’s very sexy of you but I’m still not taking my bra off,” chuckled Manila, blinking slowly. Her eyes were a little bloodshot, but her body was relaxed with trust again, leaning back into Raja. Raja wrapped one arm around her waist and squeezed her close. As badly as Raja wanted Manila to be fully naked, she respected her wishes.</p>
<p>“I went to alternative school on what was basically a gay hippie commune,” murmured Raja, gently kissing the spot behind Manila’s ear, and tracing her fingers down her stomach, “There wasn’t really bullying. We all made flower crowns, ate quinoa, studied beekeeping and Buddhist philosophy, it ruled.”</p>
<p>“No wonder you’re so weird…” sighed Manila, with a little gasp as Raja ghosted her fingers over the sensitive skin just above the edge of her black underwear.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but you like me anyway,” purred Raja, now running her fingers over the distinctly damp fabric between Manila’s legs and then kissing her neck again. Manila shuddered and let out a whine, the sudden note in her voice that reminded Raja of how easily turned on she was. “And so do most bees.”</p>
<p>Raja shifted a little so Manila was more comfortable in her lap, and Manila spread her legs and Raja stroked the inside of her thigh, moving slowly closer to her centre. Manila didn’t seem to know what to do with her hands, and after a moment of confusion she rested them on Raja’s arm across her waist.</p>
<p>“You’re like really hot, you have nothing to be insecure about,” murmured Raja in her ear, resting her head on Manila’s shoulder and wondering how she felt about praise and dirty talk.</p>
<p>Manila whined and arched a bit, trying to press into Raja’s hand. Then she turned her head, catching Raja’s mouth with her own in a sudden, intense kiss. Raja kissed her in return, and Manila reached back, tracing the back of Raja’s head and stroking her hair with a loose, exploratory hand. </p>
<p>“You’re definitely the hot one,” chuckled Manila, “But I really need you to start touching me, like right now.”</p>
<p>“Ask nicely,” purred Raja.</p>
<p>“Hmm…” hummed Manila, drawing it out, and then, her voice breathy and demanding, whispered, “Please?”</p>
<p>Raja’s own breath caught hearing her beg, and she immediately slipped her fingers past the waistband of Manila’s underwear, finding her clit in no time and stroking her with slow circles. Knowing how very <i>sensitive</i> Manila was, Raja went about her task with utmost delicacy.</p>
<p>Manila’s hand grasped into a fist in Raja’s hair on the back of her head and she arched her back and moaned aloud. It seemed she was lot more expressive after the weed and the conversation about their feelings. It sent electricity directly into Raja’s core, and she squeezed Manila to her with her opposite arm around her waist. Raja couldn’t help but increase her pace, Manila’s reactions were so exciting.</p>
<p>Raja slipped her fingers down lower, stroking experimentally over Manila’s folds to feel her utterly soaking wet pussy. Yes. </p>
<p>“Do you like this?” asked Raja.</p>
<p>“Yes,” breathed Manila, tilting her head back to rest on her shoulder.</p>
<p>Raja slipped her fingers inside of her once more and Manila tried to rock her hips for more friction but Raja held her in place and began to move her fingers, agonizingly gentle, teasing and testing for the right spot that would make Manila lose her mind. </p>
<p>Raja found it, and Manila bit back a broken moan, her body jerking forward a little as she grasped Raja’s arm around her waist, her fingers digging in. Raja kept going, rubbing against Manila’s clit with the base of her thumb and pressing her fingers inside her, hitting the spot that made her react, again. </p>
<p>Manila panted and gasped, arching her back, and Raja kissed her shoulder. There was a sheen of sweat on her cleavage from the warm, sunlit room that Raja really wanted to lick, but she wasn’t in the right position to do so. Oh well. This was also very good, Manila’s wetness was dripping all over her hand as she gasped and rutted down with her hips. </p>
<p>“I’m- I’m getting close,” gasped Manila, digging her nails into Raja’s arm.</p>
<p>Raja then decided to something utterly evil. </p>
<p>Raja stopped, and slid her fingers out of Manila entirely. </p>
<p>“Wha-” panted Manila with desperate frustration as was she left on the cruellest edge, “Why are you-”</p>
<p>“Lie down on your back,” said Raja, letting go of her Manila’s waist, a plan forming in her mind. </p>
<p>“You are the worst-” complained Manila, and she shakily got out of Raja’s lap and crawled forward, giving Raja an excellent view.</p>
<p>“Have I ever told you that you have a fantastic ass?” commented Raja, shifting up onto stiff knees and cracking her neck in anticipation of the task ahead of her.</p>
<p>Manila glanced over her shoulder with a pouty, false-innocent look that set something inside of Raja on fire, and then she flopped down on her back, propping herself up on her elbows.</p>
<p>Manila looked so beautiful laid out like that that Raja paused for a moment just to admire her, the sheen of sweat on her chest, her messy hair, her blown-out pupils and the look of intense arousal on her face. </p>
<p>“Are we going to be here all day?” challenged Manila, pouting.</p>
<p>“Wow, someone’s a little brat,” teased Raja, leaning down and kissing Manila’s stomach.</p>
<p>Raja quickly hooked her fingers in Manila’s underwear and pulled them down her thighs as Manila lifted her hips to help. Then Raja lay down on her stomach between Manila’s legs and ran a finger over her wet, sensitive pussy, amazed by how turned on she still was. Raja couldn’t help but be flattered by the physical effect she had on Manila.</p>
<p>“When it’s my turn I’m going to make you suffer,” said Manila, but her threat was very much undermined by the broken moan that left her as she arched her back and bit her lip as Raja stroked her again.</p>
<p>“Ooh, I can’t wait,” smirked Raja, heady and pleased.</p>
<p>Raja ghosted gentle kisses around her thighs and her lower belly, and then laughed as Manila practically growled at her. But she wouldn’t make Manila wait much longer, Raja ran her tongue experimentally over her folds, the taste and sensation firing constellation-like synapses in Raja’s mind. Manila let out another whimper as Raja swirled her tongue around her clit. </p>
<p>Mmm, pussy. </p>
<p>Raja went to town, spreading Manila’s legs a little wider and adjusting the angle of her neck to stay comfortable. She built it up, keeping the rhythm on her clit with her tongue as she pressed her fingers up into the lovely wetness once more.</p>
<p>“This feels <i>so good,</i>” sighed Manila, and Raja flicked her eyes up at her expression. Manila’s cheeks had flushed pink, and she reached her hand inside her bra to play with her nipple, her eyelids fluttering momentarily with pleasure. She looked absolutely excellent, far more relaxed than Raja had ever seen her before.</p>
<p>Raja continued, building up her rhythm as Manila began to gasp and moan and roll her hips against Raja’s face. It felt so good to please her friend like this, the ache of Raja’s own desire still warm and insistent between her legs.</p>
<p>Raja hooked her fingers, finding her g-spot once again, and flicking her tongue over Manila’s clit, hard and rapid while Manila clenched her thighs and arched her back even more and moaned, pressing herself up against Raja’s face until Raja had to hold her firmly against the bed with her opposite hand. Raja steadily increased the rhythm on her clit, and Manila got louder and louder, cursing over and over, and moaning Raja’s name until Raja felt her movements get erratic, and her internal muscles clenched and-</p>
<p>Sudden liquid dripped out onto Raja’s hand, as Raja brought Manila through an orgasm so good it could move tectonic plates. Manila moaned pathetically, her breath heavy, clutching desperately at the sheets as she let Raja take care of her. </p>
<p>Someone banged on the door. </p>
<p>“Oh my god, Raja, <i>this is excessive even for you-</i>”</p>
<p>“Go away Carmen!”</p>
<p>“Sorry, Carmen,” called Manila in an unsteady, breathy whimper of a voice.</p>
<p>“Wait, you’ve got Manila in there? Congratulations, bitches!”</p>
<p>Raja laughed, and sat up, wiping her face clean on her loose shirt before flopping down next to Manila and curling in to her side. Manila propped herself up on one elbow and swallowed dryly, shaking her head, her eyes glazed over in amazed disbelief. She looked like she’d been thoroughly fucked, thought Raja with keen affection, along with immense satisfaction on her own part.</p>
<p>“Ugh, that was really nice, that was so good,” repeated Manila, rolling onto her side to face Raja, and Raja practically glowed with the praise, “But how do Delta and Carmen <i>both</i> already know about this?”</p>
<p>“I’m not great with secrets,” shrugged Raja, nuzzling Manila’s neck and cuddling up against her.</p>
<p>Manila didn’t respond, instead she cuddled back into Raja with a happy little sigh, shutting her eyes. There was nothing in Raja’s gently stoned brain but post-sex satisfaction. After a few minutes Raja sat up, tracing her finger down Manila’s body from her shoulder to her chest, then down the dip of her waist and up and rise of her hip. </p>
<p>“You’re a bit of a pillow princess,” teased Raja, with a smirk, “I’m not sure what I expected, but you’re such a bratty little bottom-”</p>
<p>“No I’m not!” protested Manila in offence, sitting up.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you are,” taunted Raja, with a what-can-you-do shrug.</p>
<p>“Bitch, I’m about to destroy you,” said Manila, stretching her arms over her head and cracking the knuckles in fingers intimidatingly. She gave Raja an evil smile that was only slightly off-set by her blissed-out expression.</p>
<p>Raja gulped, now regretting her choice to tease her friend. She knew Manila was competitive, but what beast had she awakened?</p>
<p>“Now show me where you keep your vibrators and get on your back,” ordered Manila, with a deliciously authoritative grin. </p>
<p>Raja’s heart leapt and the warmth between her legs, which had much been waiting for this moment all day, flared back to violent, excited life. She told Manila where the sex toys were and rolled onto her her back, pulling off her underwear and tossing them aside, so glad to be fully naked. Raja couldn’t wait to see what Manila could do. </p>
<p>
  <i>Finally.</i>
</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Manila selected a small purple vibrator from Raja’s extensive collection in the plastic bin under her bed, and sat back up. Raja lay out before her, stretching like a happy cat, a pleased expression on her face under her half-lidded, bloodshot eyes. Her body was beautiful, long and lithe with subtle curves. Manila couldn’t help but feel honoured that Raja was showing herself to her like this. A few days ago she’d have never thought this would happen in like, real life, outside of her fantasies.</p>
<p>The earth-shattering orgasm from a few minutes ago had been, uh. Phew. Manila’s body responded strongly to Raja’s presence, and she felt tired and a little faded. But the opportunity to please Raja in return was one Manila couldn’t pass up. </p>
<p>Plus, she kind of liked the whole bossy thing that Raja was bringing out in her.</p>
<p>Manila crawled on top of Raja and gently kissed her neck, holding herself barely an inch above her so that their bodies weren’t quite touching. All those abdominal workouts at the gym were proving handy. Raja’s neck tasted amazing, and she made a sound that was somewhere between a moan and a purr that Manila <i>really, really</i> liked. Raja caressed her waist, and arched her back, pressing herself up into Manila, their skin practically tingling where it met.</p>
<p>“You’re so beautiful,” sighed Raja. “I’m like so lucky,”</p>
<p>Manila smiled to herself and then sucked down hard on the corner of Raja’s neck where it met her shoulder. Raja let out an undignified squeak and Manila bit her just a little, knowing she’d have a reddish purple hickie bloom on Raja’s light brown skin later, and Raja moaned and arched into her further, wrapping her arms around Manila’s back and holding her close.</p>
<p>Manila tried to make some more space between their bodies, but Raja wasn’t really letting her. But Manila managed to sneak her hand between their bodies, flicking on the vibrator, and slid it between Raja’s legs, which she spread eagerly for her with a happy sigh. Raja was incredibly uninhibited, and that only encouraged Manila, making her bolder. It was so freeing to be intimate with someone like this and not worry about judgement. Or maybe that was just the weed talking. </p>
<p>But Raja was moving against her, rubbing herself up against the vibrator pressed between them, tangling her hand in Manila’s hair as she kissed her neck. Manila couldn’t help but fantasize about what else they might do as she held the buzzing device against Raja, drawing her pleasure out, from lazily fucking all afternoon to maybe a few more hardcore things… hopefully involving strap-ons, she was fairly sure she’d seen something like that in Raja’s box of sex toys.</p>
<p>Manila shifted the vibrator to a slightly different angle and Raja whimpered into her ear. Manila moved it gently against her, and reached between them again with her opposite hand to toy with her nipple.</p>
<p>Raja seemed to really enjoy that, because she arched her back and moaned something incoherent, rutting against the vibrator. Manila shifted down so she could lick and suck on Raja’s opposite nipple, pinching the other one as Raja let out an exhilarated yelp, and clutched Manila close, pressing her fingers into her back and rolling her hips. Raja’s body lithe arched and her breath was heavy, and then she slowed her hips, with a final little twitch. </p>
<p>“Did that feel good?” asked Manila, as she stood back up on her hands and knees and clicked the vibrator off, tossing it aside. She couldn’t help but ask, she wanted the approval. </p>
<p>“Mmm, yes,” replied Raja, sitting up and kissing her lazily. “But I’m not done, I want more of you…”</p>
<p>Manila smiled, almost blushing at Raja’s raw, simple statement of desire. But then Manila had an idea, and she turned on her back, lying next to Raja, who cuddled into her instinctively. It was so cute that Raja was physically affectionate, both platonic and romantic in equal measure, just like the way she’d been with her since they’d started being friends, but now with a different energy.</p>
<p>“Get up and sit on my face,” ordered Manila. </p>
<p>Raja blinked at her, and then grinned and got up with a slight grunt, straddling Manila’s chest with her long, beautiful legs bent at the knee. </p>
<p>“Have you ever done this before?” asked Raja, looking down at her, her long dark hair framing her face.</p>
<p>Manila narrowed her eyes, trying to keep her gaze on Raja’s face and not just stare at her pussy, which was really very much in her line of vision. Instead she ran her hands up Raja’s thighs and gripped her hips, pulling her closer.</p>
<p>“A lady never tells.”</p>
<p>“Oh, so you’re a lady now?” chuckled Raja, brushing Manila’s hair back so that she didn’t kneel on it as she shuffled forward, holding herself just above Manila. </p>
<p>“I’ve done it like once, it’s not that hard, come on,” whined Manila, vaguely realizing that her vow to tease Raja and <i>make her suffer</i> wasn’t going very well at this rate. Somehow she’d ended up being the one begging, again. In the future, when Manila had gotten used to this and was a little more, uh, <i>composed</i> around Raja, Raja would be the one begging. Definitely. For sure. </p>
<p>But Manila had a lot more important things to focus on, as Raja carefully lowered herself onto her face and Manila tilted her head back slightly, and held Raja’s hips. For once Manila didn’t doubt herself, they were figuring all of this out after all, emotionally and physically, and had plenty of time to do so.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>If Raja was the kind of person who felt embarrassment about sexual situations, she might’ve felt a little embarrassed sitting on Manila’s face right now, or even embarrassed by how badly Manila seemed to want her. Luckily, Raja didn’t really feel embarrassed about sex, especially when she had a little weed in her. So, she very carefully held herself in place, sitting down but not putting the entirety of her weight on Manila’s face. She really didn’t want to break her friend’s neck, and/or accidentally suffocate her, that would not be a fun way to end the afternoon.</p>
<p>Manila lapped gently at her folds, quickly locating her clit and swirling her soft, velvety tongue around it. Raja exhaled through her nose, pleasure mixing with the hazy sensation in her mind, her aroused body quickly shifting back into gear. Mmm, Manila was so soft… </p>
<p>Okay, maybe she was a little more than soft, because she holding Raja’s hips very decisively, and encouraging her to rock against her. While Raja definitely didn’t want to hurt her or put on too much pressure the temptation to move was really strong. So Raja did, just a little. </p>
<p>Vaguely aware that she her own bodily juices were dripping all over Manila’s face and chin, Raja leaned forward slightly try to get a grip on the wall, her palms flat out. </p>
<p>“Is this- are you okay?” asked Raja, the shake in her voice giving her away as a a ripple of pleasure went through her body.</p>
<p>Manila nodded, confidently wrapping her arm around Raja’s thigh and pressing her in even closer.</p>
<p>“Mmh-” managed Raja, grinding slowly against Manila’s nose and mouth as Manila flicked her tongue against the delicate, tender skin around the entrance of her pussy, before pushing her tongue up inside her. </p>
<p>The wall wasn’t giving Raja much support, her sweaty palms were slipping and she didn’t know what to do with her hands. But this felt so good, the precarious feeling like she was unravelling. Manila’s lidded gaze flicked up to meet hers, and Raja was sure her face must have been ridiculous, her mouth open, panting and desperate with pleasure. Manila’s gaze was mischievous. Damn it. </p>
<p>A moan escaped Raja, and she wondered if it was the weed that was making her hyperaware of her hands right now, as Manila slipped her tongue in and out of her, building her up, and Raja ground herself on Manila’s face, hoping she wasn’t hurting her, babbling, “This feels so good, I- oh my god, <i>fuck,</i> Manila-“</p>
<p>This only seemed to invigorate Manila further, as she sucked on her clit in a way that made Raja’s eyes roll back in her head, as she felt the slick of sweat on her back. Raja slumped forward, and her hands managed to find the low board running across the head of her bed, which she’d forgotten about until this moment. Raja gripped it with one hand to make sure she wasn’t putting all her weight on Manila, and looked down again.</p>
<p>Manila’s beautiful hair was all shoved up behind her head to keep it safe from Raja’s knees. Raja tangled her hand in the beautiful black curls, the texture practically alive under her extra-sensitive fingertips. Manila somehow managed to nod that that was okay, and it electrified Raja even further and the entire world could have been burning and Raja wouldn’t have noticed, gasping as the pleasure wound higher and higher and her entire body tensed and unravelled. </p>
<p>After a several long moments of white-hot pleasure and astral-projection into outer space, Raja blinked and shuffled off of Manila, shivering from the aftershocks. Manila blinked, and turned her head to the side, cracking her neck. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, attempting to clean up the combination of Raja’s slick juices and her own saliva that was all over half of her face.</p>
<p>“Is your neck okay?” said Raja, her voice weak as she slid down next to Manila to cuddle. “Also, you might need a towel.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, my neck is fine,” replied Manila smugly. “Did I destroy you?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you really did,” sighed Raja, pressing her face into Manila’s neck and breathing in, “I knew this was going to be awesome.”</p>
<p>Manila laughed quietly and kissed her cheek.</p>
<p>“I think we should have a nap,” whispered Raja, hazy relaxation taking over her limbs, “Then a snack, and some more weed, and then we can make out again later. Do you want to stay?”</p>
<p>“I have that research assignment I should be working on…” replied Manila, but she didn’t make any effort to get up, instead she reached over to the other side of the bed and grabbed the end of Raja’s blanket, pulling it around them both and snuggling in, “…but a nap sounds nice too.”</p>
<p>Raja couldn’t help but smile, slipping her arm around Manila’s waist and holding her close as she relaxed into a a gentle doze. </p>
<p>They’d finally stopped joking and dancing around each other, and it felt really, really good.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“I’m like so happy you rescued me from the grocery store, that time a few weeks ago,” sighed Raja, reflecting on how it had all began, and passing her joint to Manila, who was tangled up in her lap on the living room couch.</p>
<p>After the excellent sex-filled afternoon a week ago, and several more conversations about feelings and boundaries, Raja and Manila had arrived at an arrangement of casual dating. They’d both just handed in major assignments and as such, were taking a break from the endless deluge of schoolwork to chill out. The relationship so far was great, relaxed and low-pressure enough for Raja to feel comfortable, but intentional and committed enough to suit Manila’s needs. Raja hadn’t felt this way about anybody else before, and was still working out what it meant, if anything. But more importantly, they were being honest with each other, and that was very sexy, and things felt really fucking good. </p>
<p>“Ha,” chuckled Manila, inhaling and blowing smoke back into Raja’s face, “Anytime, Raja. You’re a ridiculous human.”</p>
<p>“No, you are,” said Raja affectionately, kissing her ear and then moving a little lower to gently nuzzle her neck.</p>
<p>“They’re disgusting,” stated Delta from their left side, with a smile at the edge of her mouth, “I knew this would happen.”</p>
<p>“Yeah Raja, you’re so embarrassing,” laughed Carmen from their right side, leaning forward with the controller, and fighting with Delta on the screen. Manila laughed along with her, and poked Raja’s side, teasing her.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you gonna fight her for my honour or something?” whined Raja to Manila in complaint.</p>
<p>“Nope,” chuckled Manila, kissing her cheek.</p>
<p>“You’re right, they’re literally the worst,” complained Carmen to Delta, but she accepted the joint that Manila passed to her anyway, with a smile.</p>
<p>Something interesting stirred in Raja’s stomach at Manila’s casual threat and she cuddled her a little closer, already excited to head up to her room later.</p>
<p>“We should make some ground rules,” stated Delta, jabbing at the controller, “No sex on the couch, for example.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, we already broke that one,” said Raja, with an evil grin.</p>
<p>“Oh my god, the couch is <i>communal!</i>”</p>
<p>“Wait, <i>this</i> couch?” demanded Carmen, mildly disgusted, glancing down at the cushions she was sitting on.</p>
<p>“Do we have another one?”</p>
<p>“No…”</p>
<p>“Okay, let go of me,” said Manila, gently removing Raja’s hand from around her waist and leaning forward, reaching for a controller. “I’m gonna join the melee.”</p>
<p>Delta and Carmen finished up their round as Manila got set up, and Raja reached past Carmen’s back to the side of the couch for some chips. Mmm, salt. Raja didn’t particularly feel like playing video games today, she just wanted to keep smoking and relax, but she didn’t mind if her friends did so around her. She shuffled so that she was sitting with her legs open with Manila between them, leaning forward. Manila’s body language was focused, and her thumbs moved rapidly over the joystick and the letter buttons, her grip was confident on the plastic controller.</p>
<p>Without needing to ask, Raja gently took Manila’s hair out of it’s ponytail, and carded her hands through it. Manila gossiped back and forth with Carmen and Delta, letting Raja gently weave little braids into her hair while they fought and trounced one another on the screen.</p>
<p>An easy, affectionate feeling came over Raja, one that was both familiar and new, glowing in her chest. Raja wondered vaguely if it was just the weed talking, again.</p>
<p>No, Raja realized as she heard Manila laugh and smiled to herself, this feeling had nothing to do with weed. </p>
<p>It was love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>&lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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